Pandora: Gordon misses a trick

It all could have been so different. Nick Clegg mouthing off about the "old politics"; David Cameron insisting that it was "time for change" and Gordon Brown urging the electorate to "beam him up" to Number 10. Or perhaps not.

Still, it might not have turned out quite as it has – at least not if Gordon Brown had listened to Sir Patrick Stewart, Labour-supporting thesp and former Star Trek, er, star.

Stewart, who has been out on the campaign trail on behalf of GB, has been telling onlookers that he was more than willing to help out the Prime Minister in advance of his appearance in the three leadership debates.

"I did, in 2000, have a conversation with Al Gore about a certain aspect of the style of presentation," explains Stewart. "He was kind enough to say last year that if he had paid more attention to the tips that I was giving him he might have been president, which I think was a small exaggeration." Wonder if Brown will say the same?

A test of fraternal loyalties

While his older brother David holds forth on the Beeb, how will that other Dimbleby, Jonathan, pass this evening? It will be his first off-screen polling night for three elections; usually he can be seen going head-to-head with his brother on ITV. "I will be frustrated not to be there but I will watch both," he insists, diplomatically. "Blood loyalty will make me watch the BBC but affection and respect will make me switch to ITV."

* Simon Webbe took an unusual approach to small talk after spotting Pandora on the red carpet. "I pay 50 per cent tax," he announced, somewhat unexpectedly. "I'm in that bracket." It's unclear why: Webbe, pictured, is best known for his "work" as a member of the marginally successful 1990s boy band, Blue, and a subsequent appearance on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. Still, we'll take his word for it.

* Jude Law's Repo Men didn't incite quite the same critical excitement as his Hamlet last year. Still, it has other merits. "I don't talk politics," Law reflects. "But we filmed [it] two and a half years ago so while it was an issue it wasn't as current as it is now." The film revolves around a gang who reclaim artificial organs from those who have failed to pay for them. What do you mean you didn't hear that mentioned at the debates?

Spelling lessons for all?

* A last minute campaign leaflet catches our attention. "Our children are our future," reads the solemn missive from Melanie Hampton, the Conservative party candidate for Mitcham and Morden. "But 30 per cent of 11 year olds can barely read or write." Naturally, such statistics need changing. How? "Eduction (sic)," writes Ms Hampton, promptly pushing them upwards.

pandora@independent.co.uk

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