Pandora: Guy's not talking Kabbalahs

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The Independent Online

Guy Ritchie hasn't been shy of late. Understandable, what with a new film out and his wife's world tour to promote. Still, there was one subject he was reluctant to discuss when chatting with Pandora: his erstwhile religion, Kabbalah.

"I don't think that's pertinent any more," he commented tersely.

Not long ago, Mr Madonna found the Jewish mysticism so engrossing that he made it a central theme in his film Revolver. Sadly, the project was critically panned.

Pandora can't help but wonder what's made him change his mind.

If you want crooning, don't ask Mr Keuning

With 12 million record sales under their belt, The Killers must have access to every luxury that comes with the celebrity lifestyle.

Pandora was surprised, then, to run into the band's guitarist Dave Keuning wandering the insalubrious alleyways of south-east London's Elephant and Castle, looking, it's fair to say, a little worse for wear.

What was a nice boy like him doing in a questionable situation like that?

"I'm on the way back from a house party in Brixton," he said. "Though I'm not too sure of the way home."

Given the hour – 3am – it seemed safe to assume he'd had a good time. Not so, claims Keuning. "Everyone kept asking me to sing Killers' tunes on the karaoke. They don't understand – I'm not the singer!"

Cruelty to Prescott

Who says the Liberal Democrats don't have a sense of humour?

The party's latest worthy policy paper – setting out plans to improve crime detection – contains a scathing critique of the Government's legislative propensity.

It points out: "In their first decade in government, Labour added 370 Acts and 33,000 Statutory instruments to the statute book, a total of 114,000 pages.

"This legislation takes the same amount of shelf space as 200 copies of War And Peace and is twice as heavy as John Prescott."

Chinese taken away

Gordon Brown likes to ensure relations with China are close but not too cosy. The Government's latest move in this direction, however, seems just a little petty.

Asked to design a coin commemorating the Beijing Olympic Games, artist Paul Huxley was disappointed when his work was vetoed. Apparently the Royal Mint approved, but the Treasury had been turned off by his use of Chinese imagery.

"Even if people did say, 'How dare the Mint produce something with a Chinese symbol on it,' I doubt that the Chancellor would get much stick for it," retorts an injured Huxley.

It's tough work, Toby, but someone's got to do it ...

Toby Kebbell may be the luckiest up-and-coming actor in the country. The jammy Yorkshire-boy, currently starring in RocknRolla, has just finished filming for Stephen Frears's Cheri, in which he gets to play – wait for it, boys – Michelle Pfeiffer's masseuse.

"I couldn't believe it," he tells me. "I spent, like, six months massaging Michelle Pfeiffer. Not only that but I got to punch Keira Knightley's boyfriend, Rupert Friend, bless him. It was the best job in the world."

He's since been instructed to start piling on the pounds for another project, an order he isn't taking lightly.

"There's none of this protein shake bollocks," he boasts. "Just plenty of Guinness and good food."

That's right Toby, rub it in.