Pandora: Hain's anti-apartheid show hits the skids

Ever since Peter Hain was "too busy" to declare £100,000 worth of donations to his deputy leadership campaign last year, the Welsh Secretary has not been the beneficiary of a great deal of public sympathy. Perhaps until now.

For the perma-tanned former Northern Ireland Secretary, who brought new context to the term Orangeman, is to be denied the chance to tell the heroic tales of his youth as an anti-apartheid activist, in the name of impartiality.

Next spring is the 40th anniversary of the Stop The Tour campaign when, as a zealous young idealist, he led the campaign to prevent the South African cricket team touring the UK during the height of apartheid.

A landmark BBC documentary had been mooted, which would naturally have featured Hain in heroic high profile. But therein lies the problem. The anniversary falls in the immediate run-up to the general election, and the idea of depicting an MP seeking re-election as a stout-hearted campaigner for moral rights has led to fears of accusations of bias. So the documentary has been shelved.

"At the beginning of the year the BBC put a proposal to me that they were planning a programme and I offered to co-operate fully," Mr Hain tells us. "I had understood that the programme was proceeding but have heard nothing since the beginning of the year." Oh to be the bearer of bad news.

DIY! SOS! Revolution!

*DIY makeover show presenters of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your wood-effect stencils. The BBC's Nick Knowles has grown weary of the inherent injustices of capitalism. "We live in a strange world," he tells us. "Where somebody who is an actor in a movie can earn more in a minute than a nurse who saves lives earns in a year. I have always found it weird that Elton John, who sings for a living, makes millions a year, and the Prime Minister of the country makes no more than £150,000." Where's Handy Andy? There's a barricade to build...

Gove's Swedish love affair

There are countless corners of the internet full of salacious gossip and unfounded rumour. Tory leadership bid fetishist John Redwood's blog, however, tends not to be one of them. So what's this? "[Shadow Schools' Secretary] Michael Gove's love affair with his Swedish model has been long and very public." Surely not? Has Ulrika succumbed again? "No, no. There's only one Swedish model in Michael's life, and that is the Swedish model of school reform," says a spokesman.

Campbell's coup

*Anything Obama can do, Alastair Campbell can do better. Despite not yet being published, the spin supremo's second novel has been awarded the Nobel Prize. But alas, only by its own author. Was Obama right to have been given the Nobel Peace Prize? "On that basis, I am claiming the Nobel Prize for Literature for my next novel," he declared.

Peston for grilling

*Want to pester Peston? Or cross-examine Kaplinsky? Well now's your chance. Econo-guru Vince Cable will be quizzing the BBC business editor next week, while William Hague interrogates the Five newsreader, all in the cause of Cancer Research. We have been assigned one question, so get writing – bottle of fizz for the least offensive.