Pandora: Noel takes time out from theatreland

Noel Clarke's theatre career has been hit by an unexpected setback. The award-winning writer and director of gritty London films Adulthood and Kidulthood was due to premier his first play at last month's Louder Than Words Festival at the Tristan Bates Theatre in London.

Shortly before opening, however, Clarke changed his mind.

"Once it got out that I was going to be there, there was a lot of interest," he tells me. "The showcase is supposed to be about promoting younger, more up-and-coming writers and that buzz started to detract from them. I didn't want to take away the credit."

Instead, Clarke, who also featured as Billie Piper's love interest in Doctor Who, has been forced to put his theatre career on hold temporarily and pursue film commitments.

"At the moment, I've got the script just sitting on my laptop, along with another one that I've done since. It's definitely something I'm going to do in future. I'm just not sure when."

A Parisian entente

Has a truce broken out between Anna Wintour, the chicer-than-thou editor of US Vogue, and Dan Mathews, vice-president of animal rights group Peta?

Reports from Paris Fashion Week claim the pair have been seen – of all things – shaking hands. It's a surprising development since over the years Wintour has suffered more than her fair share of Peta paint-splatterings. Perhaps the entente is an attempt to sweeten Mathews up ahead his forthcoming memoirs which, say publishers, will "lift the lid" on America's fashion industry.

Gurinda's Wonderful Afterlife

Last time Pandora heard from Gurinder Chadha, she had just given up hope that her big-screen adaptation of the TV series Dallas would ever reach the light of day.

So it's good to hear that her latest project, the Bollywood-inspired It's a Wonderful Afterlife, is coming along so smoothly.

After securing funding from The Indian Film Company last week, the director – best known for her work on Bend It Like Beckham – has announced the casting of Shabana Azmi, one of Bollywood's most revered actresses.

"She is one classy lady," says Chadha.

"I've been looking forward to working for her for a long time."

Mamma Mia! This sounds familiar...

Dawn French will be belting out the Abba tunes tomorrow, as part of a Comic Relief spoof of the film Mamma Mia! It won't, however, be her first encounter with the top notes of "Waterloo".

Yesterday the comic surprised Absolute Radio listeners by calling up Christian O'Connell for an impromptu interview.

Asked whether she was a fan of the big-screen version, she responded with a terse "pass". Pressed to explain, she claimed that she had auditioned for the film, only to be turned down.

"I thought I was singing but it was really a very bad noise that came out of me," she explained. "I sang "Chiquitita" or Chicken Tikka, whatever it's called, so badly, with a man playing very loudly and with a lot of verve. Not The Verve, that would have been easier."

"As I left the audition I turned my phone on and my agent was on the phone saying it's not going to work. I hadn't even left the building! You can imagine the bitterness so now I've written by own Mamma Mia. Not revenge exactly, just justice."

Humphrey's hair how-to

Formula One anchor Jake Humphrey treated fans to a typically metrosexual insight into his morning beauty routine, after one viewer sent a query to the Beeb's website. Among the first questions received by the spanking-new F1 homepage was the probing enquiry: "Are you planning on tailoring your hairstyle to be as resilient to the buffeting wind as Steve Rider used to on ITV?" Humphrey's reply? "I'm strictly a wax man. No Elnette [hairspray] near me, thanks." Vain? Moi?

Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs People

Recruitment Genius: Office Manager

Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: Have you been doing a brilliant job in an admi...

Surrey County Council: Senior Project Officer (Fixed Term to Feb 2019)

£26,498 - £31,556: Surrey County Council: We are looking for an outgoing, conf...

Recruitment Genius: Interim Head of HR

£50000 - £60000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Are you an innovative, senior H...

Recruitment Genius: Human Resources and Payroll Administrator

£20000 - £22000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Our client, a very well respect...

Day In a Page

Syrian conflict is the world's first 'climate change war', say scientists, but it won't be the last one

Climate change key in Syrian conflict

And it will trigger more war in future
How I outwitted the Gestapo

How I outwitted the Gestapo

My life as a Jew in wartime Berlin
The nation's favourite animal revealed

The nation's favourite animal revealed

Women like cuddly creatures whilst men like creepy-crawlies
Is this the way to get young people to vote?

Getting young people to vote

From #VOTESELFISH to Bite the Ballot
Poldark star Heida Reed: 'I don't think a single bodice gets ripped'

Poldark star Heida Reed

'I don't think a single bodice gets ripped'
The difference between America and Israel? There isn’t one

The difference between America and Israel? There isn’t one

Netanyahu knows he can get away with anything in America, says Robert Fisk
Families clubbing together to build their own affordable accommodation

Do It Yourself approach to securing a new house

Community land trusts marking a new trend for taking the initiative away from developers
Head of WWF UK: We didn’t send Cameron to the Arctic to see green ideas freeze

David Nussbaum: We didn’t send Cameron to the Arctic to see green ideas freeze

The head of WWF UK remains sanguine despite the Government’s failure to live up to its pledges on the environment
Author Kazuo Ishiguro on being inspired by shoot-outs and samurai

Author Kazuo Ishiguro on being inspired by shoot-outs and samurai

Set in a mythologised 5th-century Britain, ‘The Buried Giant’ is a strange beast
With money, corruption and drugs, this monk fears Buddhism in Thailand is a ‘poisoned fruit’

Money, corruption and drugs

The monk who fears Buddhism in Thailand is a ‘poisoned fruit’
America's first slavery museum established at Django Unchained plantation - 150 years after slavery outlawed

150 years after it was outlawed...

... America's first slavery museum is established in Louisiana
Kelly Clarkson: How I snubbed Simon Cowell and become a Grammy-winning superstar

Kelly Clarkson: How I snubbed Simon Cowell and become a Grammy-winning superstar

The first 'American Idol' winner on how she manages to remain her own woman – Jane Austen fascination and all
Tony Oursler on exploring our uneasy relationship with technology with his new show

You won't believe your eyes

Tony Oursler's new show explores our uneasy relationship with technology. He's one of a growing number of artists with that preoccupation
Ian Herbert: Peter Moores must go. He should never have been brought back to fail again

Moores must go. He should never have been brought back to fail again

The England coach leaves players to find solutions - which makes you wonder where he adds value, says Ian Herbert
War with Isis: Fears that the looming battle for Mosul will unleash 'a million refugees'

The battle for Mosul will unleash 'a million refugees'

Aid agencies prepare for vast exodus following planned Iraqi offensive against the Isis-held city, reports Patrick Cockburn