Pandora: Second invitation not on cards for this First Lady

The actress Elizabeth Banks struck many as an unusual choice to play Laura Bush in Oliver Stone's new biopic, W – bubbly, blonde and the star of Zack and Miri Make a Porno, she is a far cry from America's prim schoolteacher of a First Lady.

But it seems she had something of an advantage when researching the role.

"I had actually met her before," she told me at the London Film Festival's screening of the new movie.

"She showed my film Seabiscuit at the White House a few years ago and invited me along to the viewing."

The 2003 flick tells the tale of an underdog race horse who goes on to win a string of championships, much to the delight of Depression-era America. Not exactly Oliver Stone-style satire.

"I'm not sure I'll be invited back now," she adds.

Literary blow-up a one-sided affair

LITERARY ROWS are often explosive, so it was surprising to spot the following letter in the current affairs magazine Prospect.

Beginning "Dear Sirs, I wish to attack myself for something I wrote," the letter's author, novelist Julian Gough, apologises for taking a "wild swipe" at esteemed critic James Wood in an article following the suicide of David Foster Wallace (Gough had commented that Wallace's death would at least "shut up" Wood who had in the past critiqued the great writer).

"Yes, it was an unusual move," says Gough when I speak to him. "I realised I'd been thoroughly unfair and it would be dishonourable to apologise in private, letting the public statement stand. To use a football metaphor, I kicked James hard, studs up, from behind, while the ball was in the other half. The referee had missed it; I felt I had to send myself off."

It isn't the first time Gough has engaged in unconventional methods of justice. Earlier in the year he puzzled organisers at the Hay Festival by stealing Will Self's pig. It was, he claims, an act of retribution, prompted by Self's winning of the Wodehouse prize for comic fiction – a gong for which Gough was also nominated. Confusingly, the ransom video demanded the prize be re-awarded to Alan Bennett.

"Yes, I do hammer critics when they deserve it," confirms Gough. "So I'm not too noble for this world!"

King of the fashion show

EVERYONE'S favourite pantomime dame, Christopher Biggins, was in fine form when Pandora spotted him in the audience of a charity fashion show.

Never one to toe the line (or duck the spotlight), he spent much of the night wandering the room, resisting microphone-wielding autocrats' demands that he settle down.

Confronted with one particularly stern call to take his seat, the one-time king of the celebrity jungle retorted with a sharp: "Oh leave me alone won't you!"

Afterwards he explained his predicament: "I'm just tired, that's all. I'm always doing these things. Last night I did the Curry Awards and it was ages before anyone actually fed me anything."

Big fan base

*IF YOU'RE looking for some soul-searching introspection don't turn to Razorlight frontman Johnny Borrell. The scruffy singer is asked in Q magazine why some might not like his band. He responds, "I don't think those people exist."

No sword-juggling in this celebrity circus

AN UNUSUAL press release drops into Pandora's mailbox.

"Celeb-studded carnival comes to the capital in aid of African children," it declares.

"Hollywood actors, supermodels, and film makers are set to host a one-off charity carnival in London to raise funds for Dramatic Need. Daisy Lowe will DJ, and Josh Hartnett is being urged to sword-juggle whilst David Walliams indulges in a spot of fire-eating."

Sword juggling? Fire eating? I call the press office.

"Ah yes, a bit of a mix up. That was never discussed. Shame though, it's a funny idea."

Despite the confusion, I am assured that both Hartnett and Walliams support the organisation, which specialises in developing the creative skills of children in Southern Africa.

Get your own house in order

THERE WAS some misplaced gloating from the Evening Standard on Friday.

Of my colleague Andrew Grice's scoop that David Cameron had visited Rupert Murdoch over the summer, with flights and a stint on Murdoch's yacht thrown in, Londoner's Diary mysteriously claims that the story "is hardly news" as they "revealed this two weeks ago".

The assertion is all the more puzzling given that their own news pages said otherwise: "A whirlwind visit by David Cameron to media tycoon Rupert Murdoch's yacht was revealed today," declared a passage on page four.

Best of Boris on the train

MERGING THE worlds of celebrity and politics just that bit more, iTunes has announced that it will be selling clips of Boris Johnson's audio "best bits" from today. Fans of the Mayor can listen to the recordings "at their leisure, in the comfort of their own homes, on their iPod, at the gym or on a train." Pandora for one can't wait – credit cards at the ready...