Pandora: Southern discomfort

it isn't easy being Gordon. Ramsay, that is.

The profanity-spitting chef, seemingly recovered from his stint on a stretcher at last month's London Marathon, has spent the past week in Cape Town for the Good Food and Wine Show. It started well. "His fans treated him like a rock star," say the event's organisers (we should hope so; they had paid £70 for a ticket.)

Things took a rather different turn, however, later on in the trip. An attempt to sample the South African city's nightlife ended abruptly when Gord was refused entry to one discerning establishment on account of his outfit. The venue, Hemisphere, has become the go-to joint for the holidaying rich and famous and its owner has since expressed his dismay (misplaced, some might say) at the snub; Ramsay, he has told the local papers, is welcome to return at any point "for the VIP treatment".

Incidentally, Ramsay's people declined to say what was so offensive about their boss's apparel. Stained apron?

A ringing endorsement

Should David Miliband find himself alarmed at the rapidly gathering support of his brother's leadership bid, here's a (roughly) consoling thought: he does at least have one backer. "I'm the older brother," explained Boris Johnson, asked of his preference by James O'Brien on LBC 97.3. "They're all cleverer, better looking and taller than me. I feel very strongly that David should have the first crack." Ammunition for team Ed, should things turn nasty (inevitable).

* Want to impress a Dame? Let us recommend that most ubiquitous of poultry establishments, Nando's. Judi Dench is a fan, apparently. "She took me there. She likes crispy wings," explains her young Midsummer Night's Dream co-star, Reece Ritchie, revealingly. "So if you ever see her, buy her some with piri piri sauce."

* Speaking of salubrious establishments, thanks to the reader who spied Brian May at a Hammersmith Starbucks. The guitarist became a Pandora regular prior to the election thanks to his campaign against the Tories. On Friday he could be found at the café, grim-faced. "He was updating his website and watching clips of himself on Youtube." Preparing for round two?

Eyes to Hollywood for Lembit?

A week after Lembit Opik's eviction from I'm A Celebrity – sorry, we mean the Commons – repercussions are still emerging. For instance: the disproving of Opik's own predictions. Back when the election was but a twinkle in Pandora's eye, Opik offered: "By this time in 2019 I would still hope to be MP for Montgomeryshire." He also mentioned "selling my life story to Hollywood", which may still happen. Quiet at the back!

Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs People

Ashdown Group: HR Assistant (Events business) - Central Manchester - £20K

£18000 - £20000 per annum + Benefits: Ashdown Group: HR Assistant (Events busi...

Recruitment Genius: Project Engineer

Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: This privately-owned company designs and manuf...

Recruitment Genius: Human Resources Officer

£22000 - £25000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: An opportunity has arisen at th...

Ashdown Group: HR Manager - London - £40,000 + Bonus

£36000 - £40000 per annum + Bonus: Ashdown Group: HR Manager (Generalist) -Old...

Day In a Page

NHS struggling to monitor the safety and efficacy of its services outsourced to private providers

Who's monitoring the outsourced NHS services?

A report finds that private firms are not being properly assessed for their quality of care
Zac Goldsmith: 'I'll trigger a by-election over Heathrow'

Zac Goldsmith: 'I'll trigger a by-election over Heathrow'

The Tory MP said he did not want to stand again unless his party's manifesto ruled out a third runway. But he's doing so. Watch this space
How do Greek voters feel about Syriza's backtracking on its anti-austerity pledge?

How do Greeks feel about Syriza?

Five voters from different backgrounds tell us what they expect from Syriza's charismatic leader Alexis Tsipras
From Iraq to Libya and Syria: The wars that come back to haunt us

The wars that come back to haunt us

David Cameron should not escape blame for his role in conflicts that are still raging, argues Patrick Cockburn
Sam Baker and Lauren Laverne: Too busy to surf? Head to The Pool

Too busy to surf? Head to The Pool

A new website is trying to declutter the internet to help busy women. Holly Williams meets the founders
Heston Blumenthal to cook up a spice odyssey for British astronaut manning the International Space Station

UK's Major Tum to blast off on a spice odyssey

Nothing but the best for British astronaut as chef Heston Blumenthal cooks up his rations
John Harrison's 'longitude' clock sets new record - 300 years on

‘Longitude’ clock sets new record - 300 years on

Greenwich horologists celebrate as it keeps to within a second of real time over a 100-day test
Fears in the US of being outgunned in the vital propaganda wars by Russia, China - and even Isis - have prompted a rethink on overseas broadcasters

Let the propaganda wars begin - again

'Accurate, objective, comprehensive': that was Voice of America's creed, but now its masters want it to promote US policy, reports Rupert Cornwell
Why Japan's incredible long-distance runners will never win the London Marathon

Japan's incredible long-distance runners

Every year, Japanese long-distance runners post some of the world's fastest times – yet, come next weekend, not a single elite competitor from the country will be at the London Marathon
Why does Tom Drury remain the greatest writer you've never heard of?

Tom Drury: The quiet American

His debut was considered one of the finest novels of the past 50 years, and he is every bit the equal of his contemporaries, Jonathan Franzen, Dave Eggers and David Foster Wallace
You should judge a person by how they peel a potato

You should judge a person by how they peel a potato

Dave Hax's domestic tips are reminiscent of George Orwell's tea routine. The world might need revolution, but we like to sweat the small stuff, says DJ Taylor
Beige is back: The drab car colours of the 1970s are proving popular again

Beige to the future

Flares and flounce are back on catwalks but a revival in ’70s car paintjobs was a stack-heeled step too far – until now
Bill Granger recipes: Our chef's dishes highlight the delicate essence of fresh cheeses

Bill Granger cooks with fresh cheeses

More delicate on the palate, milder, fresh cheeses can also be kinder to the waistline
Aston Villa vs Liverpool: 'This FA Cup run has been wonderful,' says veteran Shay Given

Shay Given: 'This FA Cup run has been wonderful'

The Villa keeper has been overlooked for a long time and has unhappy memories of the national stadium – but he is savouring his chance to play at Wembley
Timeless drama of Championship race in league of its own - Michael Calvin

Michael Calvin's Last Word

Timeless drama of Championship race in league of its own