Pandora: The Body painting

Elle "The Body" Macpherson has been most famously depicted on the pages of Sports Illustrated. So it's an intriguing decision by the six-foot lingerie mogul to commission ghoulish painter Stella Vine to produce a portrait of her.

Particularly interesting is Vine's "previous" with Macpherson's ex-boyfriend (and pal), the gallery owner Tim Jeffries. Vine adopted Jeffries as her agent and muse in the summer of 2005, only to part ways with him unceremoniously three months later amid rumoured arguments over "too many red dots" (finance and artistic control).

Given Vine's captivating body of work – a bleeding Diana; Kate Moss adorned with the words "I only make love to Jesus" – I hope a hatchet job on Elle won't spring off the palette.

Sick Floyd's friends fight it out in battle to brief press

An unseemly row has broken out over the right to represent the prone form of Keith Floyd, who collapsed last week in a pub.

The hard-living chef, 64, lies unconscious in intensive care, after falling to the floor seven days ago with chest pains and breathing difficulties. He had recently returned "exhausted" from launching a restaurant in Thailand, and had been drinking Scotch.

Floyd's manager of 15 years, Stan Green, is outraged by the behaviour of the press-friendly landlord of the Midland pub where Floyd collapsed.

Green accuses Glenn Geldard – who used to be Floyd's driver – of " promoting his new pub while Keith lies flat out in hospital".

The manager says: "Keith is in intensive care, he can't speak, he is not very well. But everywhere you look this Glenn Geldard is making statements about Keith's condition and talking about his new pub, promoting his pub left, right and centre, using the name – how Keith Floyd collapsed there, how he's going to launch a Keith Floyd restaurant there.

"Who is this bloke making statements about Keith Floyd? Who is Glenn Geldard? It is very distasteful."

He adds: "Only Keith's wife, Tess, knows how Keith is doing, and the only person she speaks to is me. This guy should step back and think about Keith and Keith's family."

The verbal rocket seems already to have found its mark. Geldard appears to be lying low: a barmaid at the Staffordshire pub said that the boss was not there, nor did any staff have his mobile number.

Abracadabra! Publicists fail to vanish Merlin rumour

New publicists for Merlin Ferry, the Burberry model and youngest son of Bryan?

Word at the gates of Wiltshire's £26,000-a-year Marlborough College is that young Ferry, only just 17, and pictured left with Dad, has had a run-in with the Old Bill over a "motor matter".

No great scandal; more of a rite of passage really. After all, older brother Otis, who left school aged 16, has gone so far as being nicked for his vociferous support for hunting, and an altercation with a paparazzo.

Yet Merlin's public relations wallahs proved unable to assist with a firm rebuttal of the rumours. Burberry kept placing Pandora on and off hold, only to finally decide, "You can't quote me on this."

Papa Ferry's office, meanwhile, said: "I don't know anything about it. I really don't know who would be able to help."

Merlin Ferry, perhaps? Surely he could clear it up? "I don't know," chuntered the PR. "But if I did know about it – and I don't – then I would just leave it. I think you should just try not to find anything out." Ok!

Julien's pals run riot

Famed on the fashion circuit for his partying, the designer Julien Macdonald found himself turfed out of a London gastroboozer at the weekend because of his friends' bad behaviour.

Macdonald arrived in Islington for lunch with a trendy entourage about 15-strong. After toad in the hole and mushroom pie, things g0t messy. Macdonald himself was sober and "very sweet", sipping hot water with lemon and honey, an eyewitness says, but the group were rowdy and disruptive.

"The kids were running all over the place. One woman borrowed her child's push scooter and scooted around the pub on it. They were wasted and drawing a lot of attention to themselves.

"They were asked to leave. It wasn't Julien misbehaving but he was with the group asked to go. Too much booze."

Stubborn Staines

Fresh hostilities in Ali G's old hood, Staines. Not gang war, this time, but the crump of mortars does hail from the office of the bland riverside town's MP, David Wilshire.

He is outraged by a new advert urging inhabitants to migrate to Australia: "Screw working in Staines. Hello Adelaide. Fine weather, fine wine, fine beaches, fine wine, fine weather ..."

Wilshire demands a summit in Staines with Bill Muirhead, the Government of South Australia's Agent General, who's behind the campaign.

"We're fixing a date," cackles Muirhead. "I'll go on the condition I don't have to wear a bullet proof jacket and that I provide the wine – so I'll be taking along some of Australia's finest."

Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs People

Recruitment Genius: Office Manager

Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: Have you been doing a brilliant job in an admi...

Surrey County Council: Senior Project Officer (Fixed Term to Feb 2019)

£26,498 - £31,556: Surrey County Council: We are looking for an outgoing, conf...

Recruitment Genius: Interim Head of HR

£50000 - £60000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Are you an innovative, senior H...

Recruitment Genius: Human Resources and Payroll Administrator

£20000 - £22000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Our client, a very well respect...

Day In a Page

HIV pill: Scientists hail discovery of 'game-changer' that cuts the risk of infection among gay men by 86%

Scientists hail daily pill that protects against HIV infection

Breakthrough in battle against global scourge – but will the NHS pay for it?
How we must adjust our lifestyles to nature: Welcome to the 'Anthropocene', the human epoch

Time to play God

Welcome to the 'Anthropocene', the human epoch where we may need to redefine nature itself
MacGyver returns, but with a difference: Handyman hero of classic 1980s TV series to be recast as a woman

MacGyver returns, but with a difference

Handyman hero of classic 1980s TV series to be recast as a woman
Tunnel renaissance: Why cities are hiding roads down in the ground

Tunnel renaissance

Why cities are hiding roads underground
'Backstreet Boys - Show 'Em What You're Made Of': An affectionate look at five middle-aged men

Boys to men

The Backstreet Boys might be middle-aged, married and have dodgy knees, but a heartfelt documentary reveals they’re not going gently into pop’s good night
Crufts 2015: Should foreign dogs be allowed to compete?

Crufts 2015

Should foreign dogs be allowed to compete?
10 best projectors

How to make your home cinema more cinematic: 10 best projectors

Want to recreate the big-screen experience in your sitting room? IndyBest sizes up gadgets to form your film-watching
Manchester City 1 Barcelona 2 player ratings: Luis Suarez? Lionel Messi? Joe Hart? Who was the star man?

Manchester City vs Barcelona player ratings

Luis Suarez? Lionel Messi? Joe Hart? Who was the star man at the Etihad?
Arsenal vs Monaco: Monaco - the making of Gunners' manager Arsene Wenger

Monaco: the making of Wenger

Jack Pitt-Brooke speaks to former players and learns the Frenchman’s man-management has always been one of his best skills
Cricket World Cup 2015: Chris Gayle - the West Indies' enigma lives up to his reputation

Chris Gayle: The West Indies' enigma

Some said the game's eternal rebel was washed up. As ever, he proved he writes the scripts by producing a blistering World Cup innings
In Ukraine a dark world of hybrid warfare and murky loyalties prevails

In Ukraine a dark world of hybrid warfare

This war in the shadows has been going on since the fall of Mr Yanukovych
'Birdman' and 'Bullets Over Broadway': Homage or plagiarism?

Homage or plagiarism?

'Birdman' shares much DNA with Woody Allen's 'Bullets Over Broadway'
Broadchurch ends as damp squib not even David Tennant can revive

A damp squib not even David Tennant can revive

Broadchurch, Series 2 finale, review
A Koi carp breeding pond, wall-mounted iPads and a bathroom with a 'wellness' shower: inside the mansion of Germany's 'Bishop of Bling'

Inside the mansion of Germany's 'Bishop of Bling'

A Koi carp breeding pond, wall-mounted iPads and a bathroom with a 'wellness' shower