Bright young things
Seeking to avoid the padded room/supermarket-opening fate of other child stars, the 17-year-old better known as Harry Potter will shake off his "boy wizard" yoke by acting nude onstage every night for four months. The play Equus requires Radcliffe to - as the Daily Mail puts it - "simulate a sex act while naked and astride a horse".
The Lib Dem's Home Affairs spokesman, 39, a former ski instructor who is eye candy for Westminster's younger ladies, looks set to succeed Mogadon Ming as leader, despite likely opposition from Chris Huhne. Another to watch is economics whiz (and former pork pie maker) Ed Davey, chief of staff to Sir Menzies.
Fashionistas are aghast at this 18-year-old's resolve to drop her modelling career - arguably the most exciting since the arrival of Kate Moss - to study social and political sciences at Cambridge. Down-to-earth and happy to be seen out scruffy, can Cole step back from the limelight and embrace baked beans on toast?
This friendly Scot, who made his name in the Channel 4 drama Shameless, has four major film projects. The Last King of Scotland, in which he plays Idi Amin's personal physician, is out next week. Then, as Tom Lefroy, he seduces and dumps Jane Austen (Anne Hathaway), in Becoming Jane. He acts opposite Keira Knightley for the screenplay of Ian McEwan's Atonement, and with Morgan Freeman in megabucks sci-fi assassins movie Wanted.
Ed Miliband, 37, one of Parliament's genuine nice guys, should become a minister when Gordon moves into No 10. And if Brown's new gang defeat the Cameroons at the next election, he's a contender for Foreign Secretary. Ed's environment minister brother David, 41, is the "Wayne Rooney" of the current cabinet, and tipped to be a future Labour leader. Sure for a plum job in Gord's reshuffle.
A perjury conviction and two years in clink destroyed his reputation, but Baron Archer of Weston-super-Mare is back, with a four-book deal and two television series: Fortune: Million Pound Giveaway and The Verdict. In the latter, Jeff joins 11 celebrity jurors considering the case of two fictitious footballers charged with gang rape. Perhaps So Solid Crew rapper Megaman (recently cleared of murder), dogger Stan Collymore and Ann Summers chief exec Jacqueline Gold will be invited to one of the Archers' champagne and shepherd's pie parties.
Military sources say that Aziz, 70, Iraq's deputy prime minister under Saddam, is being considered for a shock political restoration as the "acceptable face of Baathism", to placate insurgents. Notable obstacles include Aziz's support before the war for a Vietcong-style resistance movement; his defence of Saddam; his appointment with the same Iraq Special Tribunal that sentenced Saddam to hanging; his appearance in court in what appeared to be hospital pyjamas; the alleged decay and removal of his teeth; and rumours he has suffered a cerebral embolism and is largely confined to bed.
Showing in an arthouse near you from July: the long-in-development fourth instalment of Bruce Willis in a grimy white vest, Live Free or Die Hard. Starring opposite Halle Berry, the 51-year-old actor - who turned down a hair piece - plays the NYPD cop taking on cyber terrorists. Tune an ear for any political musings that slip through the film publicists' net: Willis wants the government "to stop shitting on my money and your money", and adds: "I hate the government, OK?"
In February, the Radio 4 broadcaster and self-professed manners expert - better known to Pandora readers for his outbursts of liberal vernacular - hosts the must-go event in any Brighton socialite's 2007 calendar. Tickets to his birthday party cost £35 for friends, with concessions (family, neighbours) half-price. Readers are advised to approach the man with caution and only when wearing adequate ear protection.
Lembit Opik and Ms Cheeky
The Lib Dem MP, known as "Tripod" by Westminster locker-room companions, seeks to consolidate his romance with Cheeky Girl Gabriela Irimia. Don't rule out a re-release of "Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum)" to coincide with May's council elections, with Lembit delivering the lines, "Come and smile, don't be shy/ Touch my bum, this is life."
The Bishop of Southwark
This most spiritual of leaders, the Rt Rev Tom Butler, has shrugged off the national acclaim that greeted his performance outside the Irish Embassy's Christmas shindig, when he was found in the back of a stranger's Mercedes in Crucifix Lane, throwing children's toys from the vehicle, explaining: "I am the Bishop of Southwark. It's what I do." That incident has done more for the C of E's relationship with da yoof than Sunday school ever did. Might be worth a tenner to pip John Sentamu to become the next Archbishop of Canterbury.
The fiery chef has beaten Gordon Ramsay into the gastropub market by opening his family-orientated Tom's Kitchen in Chelsea. Next month, Aikens's identical, gastronomically-talented twin brother Robert flies in from New York to join the family firm. The plan is to roll out more Tom's Kitchens. Aikens will no doubt make headlines, having previously "branded" a trainee chef with a hot knife and accused a customer of stealing a spoon.
Sir Michael Grade
He inherits ITV's worst ratings. Beady eyes are on the former Beeb man to see which stars he recruits, and whether he can rejuvenate the channel's tawdry schedule. If Grade can't...Reuse content