Tory MP tells constituents: 'Clear off, vote for the BNP'

* Politicians are often criticised for bumbling, meaningless rhetoric. Not Croydon Central's Conservative MP, Andrew Pelling.

Asked by two constituents if he might sign an Early Day Motion (parliamentary petition) objecting to Israel developing closer trade ties with the EU, he flipped and wrote back: "It will be a pleasure to have you both not voting for me - why don't you go and vote for the BNP?"

The response was something of a surprise for Alfred and Angela Litten, who had politely written to Pelling, their MP. When on Monday evening he emailed, declining to sign the EDM, Mrs Litten replied: "I suppose you will accept our view that supporting the local Conservative candidate at the next election would be just too trivial for us to bother with."

Nine minutes later she received Pelling's steaming reply: "Your idiotic response attacking someone who supports the Palestinian cause is a complete joke. Do not insult the people of Palestine by suggesting that EDMs are an appropriate means of fighting their cause. Get serious about this issue where people's human rights are abused on a daily basis."

Pelling tells Pandora: "The reaction of the Littens was perverse. I feel very strongly about Palestine and adding my name to a trivial online list is not enough.

"Often, MPs obfuscate when corresponding with the public. I prefer to be straightforward. If constituents want to dish it out, they ought to be able to take it when it is dished back."

Says Mr Litten: "Needless to say, my wife and I will now be as likely to vote Conservative as for the BNP!"

* Aged 17, Victoria Aitken gave false testimony in an attempt to save her father from jail. She was arrested but never prosecuted and moved to New York, where she began a career as a posh rapper, rhyming about her "riches to rags" experience of hot tubs, champagne and limos.

Critics said it was "neither ghetto nor fabulous"; one pointed out that her father went to prison for perjury, not gunning down homies to protect his crack empire.

Those who doubted her will be eating their words, however. Ms Aitken has carved out an acting and directing career, and I hear she has secured her first Hollywood role: that of a rock star's groupie love interest in Playing With Fire, an Irish drama set in New York.

Her stepbrother Jared Harris (Resident Evil: Apocalypse, Lady in the Water), the son of Richard Harris, takes the lead. Maeve Murphy directs. More soon.

* George Galloway's attempt to become a chart-topping pop star receives an adrenaline shot to the heart. Back in December, Pandora reported that the Respect MP was to appear in a video - a spoof arrest of Tony Blair - for a new version of Edwin Starr's hit "War", to raise funds for Stop the War.

The song bombed (ahem) on release, but thanks to mobile phone downloads at Saturday's anti-war marches in London and Glasgow, it sits at No 6 in the midweek charts, with 5,500 sales. That's 2,000 more than Justin Timberlake's latest single and almost half as many as Take That's "Shine", the frontrunner.

"We're shocked," says Capital Radio DJ Lucio. "If they can keep the momentum they'll stay inside the top 10 and perhaps go higher, maybe even No 1."

Says Galloway's spokesman: "Gary Barlow better work his arse off over the next few days because we will."

* The arrival of the 7ft 4in bronze statue of Margaret Thatcher in the Palace of Westminster rankles with lefties. The Jarrow MP, Stephen Hepburn, has posted an Early Day Motion declaring: "This House recalls the cruel and divisive reign of Margaret Thatcher and demands that the statue be removed from the member's lobby until such time as its erection has been approved by a vote in the house."

Explains Hepburn: "That plinth has been vacant for a long time. If you look at the other statues around the room, there's Lloyd George, Churchill and Clem Atlee, who did so much for society. And then the next plinth is filled by Thatcher, who admitted she didn't believe in it and went out and destroyed it." There is, so far, one signatory: Hepburn, Stephen. Still, early days!

* A welcome invitational "stiffy" flops on to Pandora's desk from the fine folk at the Irish embassy. It is a summons to the mission's St Patrick's Day celebration on 15 March, an evening that will no doubt be lubricated by the odd drop of the devil's buttermilk.

Lest we forget, the last blowout there was the Irish ambassador's Christmas party, notably attended by the Bishop of Southwark, the Rt Rev Tom "Raging Bull" Butler, who was discovered post-festivities throwing toys out of the back of a stranger's Mercedes (parked in Crucifix Lane), declaring: "I am the Bishop of Southwark, it's what I do."

Such outreach work with the nation's youth is admirable and Pandora will support any campaign to make him Archbishop of Canterbury. Sadly, the Bashed Bish will not be swapping his mitre for one of those comedy St Paddy's Day hats. Says a spokesman: "I haven't seen his diary yet but I don't think he usually goes to this one."

pandora@independent.co.uk