Unicef mulls Fiennes' future after mile-high encounter

Long-haul flights are a drag. The actor Ralph Fiennes tried to alleviate his boredom in the business-class lavatory on flight QF123 from Darwin to Bombay, where he was heading to promote safe sex on behalf of the children's charity Unicef.

"I sat on the sink and Ralph started giving me oral sex," Australian air hostess Lisa Robertson said. "He ... bent me over and had sex with me. I was shocked that he didn't wear a condom." Sweet romance!

Unicef has remained tight-lipped about Fiennes's future with the charity. His mile-high jinks were not well-received within the organisation's sandal-trodden corridors; a Unicef source tells Pandora there have been internal discussions about dropping the 44-year-old, above, who starred as Lord Voldemort in the Harry Potter films, as ambassador.

"It's hardly the image we want to convey," the source says. "Especially as he was flying in to campaign against Aids. We are seriously considering it. It just looks really bad. It would be a real shame as he was very pleasant to work with on the trip, very modest. As it happened on his incoming flight and we arranged to meet him there, we had no idea."

The Unicef press office has lost all photos of Fiennes on the India trip. The official Unicef line is that "there has been no change in his role. He's been a long-standing supporter of Unicef's work.

"This is a private matter and one on which we're not going to comment." Fiennes did not wish to comment either. The now ex-stewardess gave him "10 out of 10".

Seagal savours smell of success

Steven Seagal is a talented man - but then we've known that since 1992's Under Siege in which, as a ship's cook who can flambé, juggle knives and write his name in automatic weapon fire, he saves the world from nuclear armageddon.

Seagal's passion is blues guitar straight from the Delta: he's currently touring Britain's music halls, culminating in a gig at the Shepherds Bush Empire on Sunday with the Chicago blues star Magic Slim.

Something of a sex symbol, despite bulking up since his action man days, Seagal employs his personal assistant as a stage sweep during concerts, collecting women's knickers.

"It's been amazing, we've had a lot of crazy people and crazy women," Seagal tells Pandora before a gig in Inverness. "You just have to put up with it. Someone has to do it. It's tough."

An aide adds: "Steven gets panties thrown at him everywhere he goes, but he says in Scotland a lot of the knickers are perfumed."

There's only one way he could know that ...

More songs of praise

Mormon mania! Contain your excitement: three (well, two and a half) members of the religious sect are in the UK album charts.

Celebrity Mormon Donny Osmond, top, yesterday reached his highest chart position since 1974, No 7, with Love Songs of the 70s. The Killers' former No 1 album,Sam's Town, is in there (frontman Brandon Flowers, bottom, is a practising Mormon - "We really think God's a dude"). And Jason Orange, from Take That, at No 3 with Beautiful World, "was brought up a Mormon", whatever that means.

Worshippers are dancing on the pews at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, although not necessarily to songs from the Mormon artistes. "Personally, I am into classical music," says a spokeswoman. "But I wish anyone well in their chosen career."

Dressing down for Aunty Beeb

Not all scientists are leather-elbowed eggheads. The BBC clothes makeover show What Not to Wear has upset bods at the Wellcome Trust medical research institute by targeting them for its new series.

"We hope to feature academics and mature students," a producer pleads, attaching a form for professors to nominate themselves or even a colleague, detailing their worst outfit.

"Honsetly, the cheek!" fumes one. "How dare they assume that scientists are a bunch of crusty old academics in need of some restyling!"

Sting in her tail

"I went to the Sting pile in Highgate years ago, to interview Trudie Styler about rainforests," one rock critic writes to Pandora, after recent suggestions that Mrs Sting has something of a temper.

"I was ushered into the paneled drawing room by an Indian wearing a loincloth, served tea in pink bone china and brought shortbread. Trudie drifted in after an hour and sat on a cushion. She toyed with my foot in her hand. Suddenly, she flew into this biblical rage. Her henchman scurried in brandishing a women's magazine from three years before."

It contained an article the journalist, Lesley-Ann Jones, had written about Styler, in which she mentioned Sting's first wife. Jones claims that Styler called her a "snivelling piece of rat shit", and attacked her "nerve" for daring to accept the Sting family's hospitality after the previous article. "You are nothing!" Styler allegedly said. "Who do you think you are?"

Jones, choking on a shortbread crumb: "Er ... nothing." She was ejected from the mansion.