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Pandora: Minister for Law?

1997: the Gallaghers round Tony's. 2010: Jude Law chez Theresa. It's like Gordon never happened. Law could be seen yesterday afternoon perusing the corridors of the Home Office. In one hand – says our mole – he clasped "a square box and a plastic folder."

Pandora: Blogosphere blues for David Cameron

It wasn't the Internet wot won it, in the end, for David Cameron. Just as well, you might say. The modern man of a PM has yet to wrestle control of that all-important URL davidcameron.com. The website - set up, presumably, before predictions of a "digital election" forced every would-be MP to reveal their lunch details in under 140 characters (no redactions allowed) – is a one-tracked attack on the Conservative leader. The most recent entry describes how "Ashcroft and Clegg help Cameron hobble to power." Number 10 claim to be aware of the hatchet's existence, but know not whence it comes. As for whether or not there are any plans to attempt a buy-out, a spokesman declined to respond. If there are, they may prove costly. Its author is listed as one Reza Sobati. Back in 1999, after a similar stunt, Sobati put the address www.gordonbrown.com up for sale at a cool £30,000. Samantha's Christmas gift perhaps?

Pandora: McCartney finds beef

Sir Paul McCartney's appearance on the Today programme yesterday provided a little welcome relief from the election coverage. Who knew it could prove so controversial?

Pandora: Gordon misses a trick

It all could have been so different. Nick Clegg mouthing off about the "old politics"; David Cameron insisting that it was "time for change" and Gordon Brown urging the electorate to "beam him up" to Number 10. Or perhaps not.

Pandora: David Irving turns tour guide

He's done jailbird, and he's done author. Now, it appears that the ever-sinister David Irving is attempting life as a tour guide. The discredited historian, who once denied that Auschwitz existed to murder Jews, is offering punters the chance to take a guided tour of "Hitler's Headquarters and other historical sites". For $2,900 (£1,900), says a brochure for the trip, tourists will be given a tour of wartime headquarters, including the notorious "Wolf's Lair" in what is now Poland, and a visit to Treblinka death camp. Whether anyone will take the tour remains to be seen; Irving declined to tell Pandora of any interest. Even more curious is Irving's decision to use a quote from Mr Justice Gray's ruling at the Irving vs Lipstadt trial in order to sell the idea. Mr Justice Gray ruled that Irving had "manipulated historical evidence"; Irving, though, cites a rather more positive version of the ruling, quoting Mr Justice Gray on his website as claiming that his "knowledge of World War Two is unparalleled".

Pandora: George Galloway's last gasp

Hear that? It's the sound of Parliament's last cigar being stubbed out. Once a mark of Churchillian defiance, the wealthy man's gasper was long ago eschewed in favour of a Boden shirt and everyman tie as the political accessory of choice.

Pandora: Nick Clegg's Dutch ado

Only a cynic, surely, would suggest that Nick Clegg's public school background and upper-middle-class upbringing chip away at his credentials to be the British Obama.

Pandora: Tony Blair will go to the ball

Much tittering in the publishing industry last week, following the news that a certain Icelandic volcano had rendered Tony Blair (plus tan) unable to return from the Middle East. Not only was he due to join the Labour Party on the campaign trail, but he was to be thrown a no-expense-spared do at the London Book Fair by his publishers, Random House, in order to meet and greet industry figures. Unable to cancel the event, the champagne and canapés had to be passed around without him.

Pandora: In the blue corner...

It's gloves off (or should that be on?) in the fight for Mid-Bedfordshire. The seat is currently held by Tory pin-up Nadine Dorries, who won with a sizable majority in 2005, but made few hearts bleed with her implorations that the pressure of the expenses scandal had left Commons-dwellers "suicidal".

Pandora: An explosive race

Jenson Button may have won last weekend's Chinese Grand Prix, but what of that other, trans-continental race, the Volcanic Grand Prix? We mean, of course, the scramble to return to these shores in time to prepare for the next race in Barcelona. Button, naturally, need not concern himself with such things, having jetted to Thailand. No such luxuries for the rest of the travelling circus. Taking the chequered flag on Tuesday was, we're told, Ross Brawn, Button's team boss last year. He flew to Nice via Dubai and was chaufferred through France to set foot on English soil just after 5pm. Second was the Australian driver Mark Webber and his Red Bull team boss Christian Horner. Third came the BBC's Jake Humphrey and Lee McKenzie, who flew to Frankfurt, drove to Calais and reached Dover by ferry at 8.30pm. And last place went to Eddie Jordan, also of the Beeb, who failed to make it out in the first place. Keep up!

Pandora: Flatley lords it again

It might, as they say, be best to sit down. Michael Flatley – Irish jigster, sometime holder of the world record for taps per second, all too easily confused with Mick Hucknall – is making a comeback. More than that: he plans to rejoin Lord Of The Dance, the multimillion-pound tap-dancing monolith he founded in 1996.

Pandora: A Labour of love for film-maker Chadha

With the notable exception of a retired Dr Who (quiet at the back, Mr Tennant) the Labour Party has, thus far, been rather short of A-list supporters for its election campaign. While the Tories wheel out Sir Michael Caine and Carol Vorderman and the Liberal Democrats boast Daniel Radcliffe and Colin Firth, Labour has been left out in the cold, or so it seems.

Pandora: John Prescott fails to lord it on the campaign trail

Last week Pandora speculated as to the proximity of a Prescott peerage. Having been both deputy Labour leader and deputy PM, the veteran bruiser would be more than qualified for a spot on Gordon Brown's disollution honours list, despite his previously-stated opposition to the principle.

Pandora: No holiday boom for Charles's neighbours

When Prince Charles announced that his eco-friendly Welsh hideaway, Llwynywermod, would be available to rent for self-catering holidaymakers, the news caused understandable excitement amongst residents of the nearby village, Myddfai.

Pandora: No Blond jokes as Cameroons stay away

Cold, anyone? One couldn't blame Phillip Blond for feeling the chill. When policy-man and one-time NBF of David Cameron (credited for providing his "mood music"), launched his think-tank, ResPublica last November, he managed to draw none other than the Tory leader himself to cut the silk ribbon. Indeed, there was a time when Blond appeared inseparable from the party's inner circle.

Pandora: Another uphill struggle for David

Having previously succeeded Alastair Campbell at the helm of an increasingly troubled Downing Street spin machine, it's safe to say David Hill is a man well-accustomed to a political challenge.

Pandora: Young Prezza makes new Commons bid

While John Prescott is busy enjoying his political swansong in typically bullish fashion, I hear another member of the Prezza dynasty has quietly launched a fresh bid for a parliamentary career of his own.