How We Met: John Waters & Philip Hoare

Philip Hoare 50 is a writer, known for his biographies of Noel Coward and the decadent aristocrat Stephen Tennant. His latest book, Leviathan, charts his love of whales. He lives in London

I met John in 1990 after I published my first book Serious Pleasures, which was a biography of Stephen Tennant, an outrageous aristocratic aesthete from the 1920s. John bought my book and sent me a postcard saying how much he loved it – and he reviewed it for the New York Times, which was just amazing.

After that, John invited me to his home in Baltimore, this incredible arts-and-crafts house. The first thing you see when you walk into the house is an electric chair. I was like, "Oh my God! It's like something from The Addams Family." We had this wonderful meal, and since then, we've been close friends.

We go to Cape Cod together, to a village called Provincetown. Our friendship is a summer friendship – we go to the beach, go out drinking and go cycling. John lives in this wonderful apartment on the beach and I stay in a bed and breakfast across the road, because he doesn't like guests. We hitchhike to the beach. He stands on the highway with a cardboard sign saying, "The beach". His progress through the village takes twice as long as anyone else because there are so many people saying, "Hi John!" and asking for his autograph. He's really sweet about it – he'll never refuse to talk to someone. He's the nicest person I know, but he also has the most devilish sense of humour. Going out to dinner with John is like going to dinner with a stand-up comedian.

It was in Provincetown that I began to go whale-watching. I've been obsessed with whales since I was a little boy, but suddenly I realised I could go out and see the animals in the wild. John accused me of being a whale stalker. After a couple of years of going whale-watching, he said, "You've become obsessed with these animals – it's obvious you've got to write a book about them." That's how Leviathan was born. I owe him an awful lot.

When John comes to London, his schedule is ruthless. I took him on the Tube last year – his main objection was that it was very expensive. We go to these really grungy galleries in the East End. His London visits are all about art, art and more art, with a stop at Dover Street Market to look at Commes des Garçons.

I love all of John's films, especially Serial Mom and Pecker. And the early stuff – like when he recreated the assassination of JFK in front of his mum and dad's house in Baltimore. That can't have gone down very well. But now he's this international brand with Hairspray. It's really quite ironic, given what John is about. I think he's America's greatest satirist.

John Waters 62 is an American director known for his subversive independent films, but recently hit the mainstream when his 1988 movie Hairspray was adapted into a stage musical and then a film again. He lives in Baltimore and New York

I'd never heard of Stephen Tennant when I saw Philip's book in a store, but it looked good so I bought it, read it and became obsessed by it. I gave it a rave review in the New York Times and wrote Philip a letter telling him how much I liked it. He called me back and we met and became friends.

Later, Philip started coming to Provincetown in the summer, which I'd always told him about. I never saw a person taking to a town quicker than he did. It's a gay fishing village, so I always drag him to the scary straight bars, because I like minorities. We ride our bikes, we have dinner together. He's a great buddy.

When I come to London, we go to art galleries and discover book shops. He even took my mother out while I had to go to the Graham Norton Show – that's really a friend, someone who takes your mother out!

To be honest, Stephen Tennant, Oscar Wilde, Noel Coward and religious cults are a lot more up my alley than whales. Philip is in a whale cult and I don't know if he's going to get out of it. His friends are going to have to kidnap and deprogramme him. I never go whale-watching because I get seasick and I don't want the whale to bite me. He's so into whales that I think he's actually sexually attracted to them. At the end of the book, when he jumps into the water with the whales, it's like an orgasm!

We're two obsessive people who make their living from writing about their obsessions. Philip's obsessions bring him great happiness and I think he's a really good writer. He makes everything a little bit sexual – he pulls you in and gets you into the cult. He knows all about my obsessions, which are crime cases and fashion. I think the one we share the most is contemporary art. Whenever I come to London, if I'm lucky enough to have a free day, we go to about 15 art galleries.

I helped him at the start of his career, but I don't think he needs my help any more. I feel proud of him. He told me I gave him the idea for Leviathan, but I can't remember. I took LSD when I was young, so I don't remember a lot. What is his next obsession? I don't know. That's what I keep saying to him – what now? We're all waiting to find out.

'Leviathan', by Philip Hoare, is published by Fourth Estate at £18.99