Lunatic fringes: Even the most well-groomed stars can have a bad hair day

view gallery VIEW GALLERY

Donald Trump's comb-over malfunction marred a return to his ancestral home this week. But anyone can have a bad hair day

Bad hair days are like bad curries – we've all had them but they're best avoided. At times, bad hair days are an unhappy and unstoppable result of forces of nature – wind, rain, water and, er, fire have all been known to play havoc with the most soignée of us. Failing that, there is the denial factor: baldness, greyness, curliness, straightness – if ever there was a surefire way to mess with perfection (or the lack of it), then the ill-advised cutting, dying, combing or perming of hair must surely be it. No one is immune – everyone from Nick Cave and Sean Penn to Nicole Kidman and Elizabeth Taylor has had their moments. Think of poor Britney.

With this in mind, laugh in the face of even the most heinous of hair days, safe in the knowledge that everyone else will surely be doing just the same.

Peroxide Medusa

Marie Antoinette meets Footballers' Wives' Zoe Lucker. What has happened to Sharon Stone? As if the tumbling mane of peroxide blond curls wasn't itself an extreme enough statement, the gold lipstick seals it. Look; even she's laughing.

Centrist strategy

He's tried it on the left, and on the right, and now it's in the middle. While women who change their hair on a regular basis are to be admired for their devil-may-care approach to their own physical appearance, for men it is never a signifier of anything but indecision and weakness. More importantly, whatever David Cameron does with his hair, he still looks like somebody who works for Foxtons.

Roots manoeuvre

Some rules are made to be broken, and the supposedly unappealing nature of dark roots showing through blond hair is one of them. Madonna is, of course, the poster girl where this look is concerned, and it's safe to assume that it's not because she can't afford a colourist. Instead, read this one as the mark of rebellion, as every blonde icon in recent (and not so recent) history will be quick to testify. Catherine Deneuve, Debbie Harry, Agyness Deyn... the list goes on.

Live and let dye

Good for a vegetarian, frankly dismal for a man over 40. If ever there was a tell-tale sign of a mid-life crisis, McCartney's aubergine rinse must have been it. Has he not seen Death in Venice? In the end, however, this one made him look more like Cliff Richard than the lovelorn Dirk Bogarde with inky black hair-dye running down his face in Visconti's masterpiece of a film.

Taylforth tribute

You can take the girl out of Croydon... Whisper it, but isn't Kate Moss's straw-blond, fringed moment more Gillian Taylforth than Daryl Hannah circa Blade Runner? Blasphemous as it may be in fashion circles to even think of criticising the world's most famous model/yummy mummy/rock chick (delete where appropriate) this snip-and-dye 'do was never going to be the best way forward.

The pour-over

Fiona Shackleton has been immortalised as the woman given a soaking by Heather Mills when the latter poured water over her head in the now-legendary Mucca versus Macca divorce case. Shackleton came out smiling, but, generally, this is a style not to be worn outside the bathroom.

White mischief

This one's not so much a bad hair day as a bad hair life. Big, blond and really quite horribly fluffy, Boris Johnson's hair is verily a law unto itself. Bearing this in mind, his hair would probably have been preferable as mayor of London to the man himself.

Shock-horror suedehead

When Natalie Portman shaved her head for a role in the sci-fi thriller V For Vendetta, some said she looked more like Matt Lucas's big baby than Sinead O'Connor. Or should that be Telly Savalas? In fact, Portman is simply the most recent in a long line of celebrated names – Demi Moore and Sigourney Weaver among them – who saw the move, not even remotely in the manner of a rocket scientist, as some kind of feminist statement. "Some people will think that I'm a neo-Nazi or that I have cancer or I'm a lesbian," Portman trilled at the time, establishing herself as about as right-on as a crocodile-skin handbag. "What are the scores, Natalie Dawes?"


Do not try this at home. Christopher Walken's vertical hair gives new meaning to the term "up do". The actor looks as if he's back-combed it while hanging upside down – like a bat. Strange, sinister and entirely sensational, Walken is the only person on planet earth who could ever pull it off, whether he's playing a drug baron in Abel Ferrera's cult classic King of New York or putting a whole new spin on the the tale of the three little pigs: "Bye bye piggy. Buongiorno salami!" We are not worthy.

Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
ebooksAn introduction to the ground rules of British democracy
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs People

Ashdown Group: Human Resources Manager

£28000 - £35000 per annum + Benefits: Ashdown Group: A successful organisation...

Recruitment Genius: Internal Recruiter - Manufacturing

£20000 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: An Internal Recruiter (manufact...

Ashdown Group: HR Manager (CIPD) - Barking / East Ham - £50-55K

£50000 - £55000 per annum + 25 days holidays & benefits: Ashdown Group: HR Man...

Recruitment Genius: Operations / Project Manager

£40000 - £48000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This software company specialis...

Day In a Page

Refugee crisis: David Cameron lowered the flag for the dead king of Saudi Arabia - will he do the same honour for little Aylan Kurdi?

Cameron lowered the flag for the dead king of Saudi Arabia...

But will he do the same honour for little Aylan Kurdi, asks Robert Fisk
Our leaders lack courage in this refugee crisis. We are shamed by our European neighbours

Our leaders lack courage in this refugee crisis. We are shamed by our European neighbours

Humanity must be at the heart of politics, says Jeremy Corbyn
Joe Biden's 'tease tour': Could the US Vice-President be testing the water for a presidential run?

Joe Biden's 'tease tour'

Could the US Vice-President be testing the water for a presidential run?
Britain's 24-hour culture: With the 'leisured society' a distant dream we're working longer and less regular hours than ever

Britain's 24-hour culture

With the 'leisured society' a distant dream we're working longer and less regular hours than ever
Diplomacy board game: Treachery is the way to win - which makes it just like the real thing

The addictive nature of Diplomacy

Bullying, betrayal, aggression – it may be just a board game, but the family that plays Diplomacy may never look at each other in the same way again
Lady Chatterley's Lover: Racy underwear for fans of DH Lawrence's equally racy tome

Fashion: Ooh, Lady Chatterley!

Take inspiration from DH Lawrence's racy tome with equally racy underwear
8 best children's clocks

Tick-tock: 8 best children's clocks

Whether you’re teaching them to tell the time or putting the finishing touches to a nursery, there’s a ticker for that
Charlie Austin: Queens Park Rangers striker says ‘If the move is not right, I’m not going’

Charlie Austin: ‘If the move is not right, I’m not going’

After hitting 18 goals in the Premier League last season, the QPR striker was the great non-deal of transfer deadline day. But he says he'd preferred another shot at promotion
Isis profits from destruction of antiquities by selling relics to dealers - and then blowing up the buildings they come from to conceal the evidence of looting

How Isis profits from destruction of antiquities

Robert Fisk on the terrorist group's manipulation of the market to increase the price of artefacts
Labour leadership: Andy Burnham urges Jeremy Corbyn voters to think again in last-minute plea

'If we lose touch we’ll end up with two decades of the Tories'

In an exclusive interview, Andy Burnham urges Jeremy Corbyn voters to think again in last-minute plea
Tunisia fears its Arab Spring could be reversed as the new regime becomes as intolerant of dissent as its predecessor

The Arab Spring reversed

Tunisian protesters fear that a new law will whitewash corrupt businessmen and officials, but they are finding that the new regime is becoming as intolerant of dissent as its predecessor
King Arthur: Legendary figure was real and lived most of his life in Strathclyde, academic claims

Academic claims King Arthur was real - and reveals where he lived

Dr Andrew Breeze says the legendary figure did exist – but was a general, not a king
Who is Oliver Bonas and how has he captured middle-class hearts?

Who is Oliver Bonas?

It's the first high-street store to pay its staff the living wage, and it saw out the recession in style
Earth has 'lost more than half its trees' since humans first started cutting them down

Axe-wielding Man fells half the world’s trees – leaving us just 422 each

However, the number of trees may be eight times higher than previously thought
60 years of Scalextric: Model cars are now stuffed with as much tech as real ones

60 years of Scalextric

Model cars are now stuffed with as much tech as real ones