My Secret Life: Russell Howard, 31, comedian

'People think I'm arrogant'

My parents were... and still are, hilarious.

The household I grew up in... was full of people and dogs and screaming. Me and my brother and sister were very excited all the time. We used to lose our minds on the rare occasion when my dad would say 'Let's get a Chinese takeaway'. I get pissed off when I see an eight-year-old looking really bored in Wagamama.

When I was a child I wanted to be... a Jedi.

If I could change one thing about myself... I would have eyes that face in the right direction – that would be pleasant. I've got a lazy eye, and people often think I'm arrogant, or pissed.

You wouldn't know it but I am very good at... football – I'm quite handy.

You may not know it but I'm no good at... anything linked to technology. Just plugging in an Xbox: can't do. Using the dishwasher: can't do. Transferring files on my Mac and my phone: can't do.

I wish I had never worn... my trousers backwards. The hit rap duo Kris Kross wore their trousers backwards, in the Nineties, and I wore my trousers backwards to a school disco. It led to some bullying...

At night I dream of... My dreams are the same as everyone else's: just really weird and horny. Really awful, sexual dreams, all the time.

What I see when I look in the mirror... My massive head. I tend not to look in the mirror.

It's not fashionable but I like... Grand Designs. Kevin McCloud is a legend in the Howard household. Watching posh people build a moat? I am there.

I drive... a BMW Z4, which I look stupid in.

My house is... Our dog Archie runs the place, so it's full of Frisbees and chewed socks and clothes he's been bought – he's spoilt rotten.

My favourite building... The Hammersmith Apollo. It's got sticky floors and is slightly run down inside but every time I still get that feeling that you're somewhere special.

Movie heaven... Senna. I've seen it about 10 times. It's such a moving film.

My greatest regret... Not replying to a text I should have done.

The person who really makes me laugh... My brother, who's the crudest and most socially awkward person I know.

The last time I cried... Listening to my brother describe a date – it was truly, poetically horrible. I was crying with laughter.

My life in six words... Fun, stressful, varied, lucky, busy, intense.


Russell Howard was born in Bristol in 1980. He started performing stand-up comedy as a teenager, getting to the finals of Channel 4's So You Think You're Funny? in 1999. Howard has been a panellist on Mock the Week and co-hosted a BBC6 Music radio show from 2006 to 2008. He played to over 200,000 fans during his Right Here, Right Now tour last year, and has released three bestselling live DVDs. Russell Howard's Good News is on BBC Three, at 9pm on Thursdays. He lives in Leamington Spa

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