My Week: Mrs Santa Claus

It's the busiest week of the year in the Claus household, and as the sled is brought out of the garage, tensions are running high


Our most hectic week of the year started with my husband's office party. He likes to give everyone a treat before the hard work begins in earnest – and believe me it's hard. No sympathy from me if you start complaining about working at Christmas.

Not that the party was much of a treat for one of the elves, Bjorn, who got so drunk on my husband's damson gin that he started weeping, then repeatedly tugged on my husband's beard believing it to be false. I'd be the first to know if it was false, and actually, if only it were! I'd have saved myself a lot of chafing down the years. I've never much liked Bjorn, by the way. He has no top lip. But my hubby says he's a decent grafter. When he's sober.


I helped my husband get the sleigh out of the garage. That's always our job on 22 December, because sometimes there are maintenance issues that have to be dealt with, and frankly I'm better at that sort of thing than he is. He's a lovely fellow but hopeless with his hands. Tuesday was also the day he looked out of the window and said, "It looks like rain, dear". He says it every year. It rarely makes me laugh.


It's all very well my husband sorting out Christmas presents for the world's kiddies, but he leaves his own family's presents to me, and his Auntie Matilda is the very devil to buy for. On Wednesday I finished knitting a cardigan for her, but she's a size 16 and that's a lot of wool. I'm not convinced it will fit her, either. My husband's family are all on the big-boned side, and of course he's the biggest of the lot. I keep trying to put him on a low-cholesterol diet but he says it will ruin his image. Pardon my French, but bollocks to his image. It's no fun sharing a narrow pine bed with him.


Christmas Eve. My hubby and his elves have been working all year with this day in mind, and I must say they have the organisation down to a fine art. Of course, they're helped by the fact that presents have got smaller. The iPod in particular was a godsend. Anyway, I waved them off at dawn and didn't see them until dawn the next day. The last thing he said to me was "did you get a present for cousin Rasmus?" Honestly. Next year I'm going to leave his family to him.


Christmas Day. My husband slept almost the entire day, waking up for five minutes to tell me that one of the reindeer had been off with swine flu so the sleigh kept listing to the left. But by the evening he was up and about and we had a lovely long cuddle. It's my favourite time of the whole year, finally getting him to myself.

Mrs Claus was talking to Brian Viner

Suggested Topics
Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs People

Recruitment Genius: Office Manager

Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: Have you been doing a brilliant job in an admi...

Surrey County Council: Senior Project Officer (Fixed Term to Feb 2019)

£26,498 - £31,556: Surrey County Council: We are looking for an outgoing, conf...

Recruitment Genius: Interim Head of HR

£50000 - £60000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Are you an innovative, senior H...

Recruitment Genius: Human Resources and Payroll Administrator

£20000 - £22000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Our client, a very well respect...

Day In a Page

HIV pill: Scientists hail discovery of 'game-changer' that cuts the risk of infection among gay men by 86%

Scientists hail daily pill that protects against HIV infection

Breakthrough in battle against global scourge – but will the NHS pay for it?
How we must adjust our lifestyles to nature: Welcome to the 'Anthropocene', the human epoch

Time to play God

Welcome to the 'Anthropocene', the human epoch where we may need to redefine nature itself
MacGyver returns, but with a difference: Handyman hero of classic 1980s TV series to be recast as a woman

MacGyver returns, but with a difference

Handyman hero of classic 1980s TV series to be recast as a woman
Tunnel renaissance: Why cities are hiding roads down in the ground

Tunnel renaissance

Why cities are hiding roads underground
'Backstreet Boys - Show 'Em What You're Made Of': An affectionate look at five middle-aged men

Boys to men

The Backstreet Boys might be middle-aged, married and have dodgy knees, but a heartfelt documentary reveals they’re not going gently into pop’s good night
Crufts 2015: Should foreign dogs be allowed to compete?

Crufts 2015

Should foreign dogs be allowed to compete?
10 best projectors

How to make your home cinema more cinematic: 10 best projectors

Want to recreate the big-screen experience in your sitting room? IndyBest sizes up gadgets to form your film-watching
Manchester City 1 Barcelona 2 player ratings: Luis Suarez? Lionel Messi? Joe Hart? Who was the star man?

Manchester City vs Barcelona player ratings

Luis Suarez? Lionel Messi? Joe Hart? Who was the star man at the Etihad?
Arsenal vs Monaco: Monaco - the making of Gunners' manager Arsene Wenger

Monaco: the making of Wenger

Jack Pitt-Brooke speaks to former players and learns the Frenchman’s man-management has always been one of his best skills
Cricket World Cup 2015: Chris Gayle - the West Indies' enigma lives up to his reputation

Chris Gayle: The West Indies' enigma

Some said the game's eternal rebel was washed up. As ever, he proved he writes the scripts by producing a blistering World Cup innings
In Ukraine a dark world of hybrid warfare and murky loyalties prevails

In Ukraine a dark world of hybrid warfare

This war in the shadows has been going on since the fall of Mr Yanukovych
'Birdman' and 'Bullets Over Broadway': Homage or plagiarism?

Homage or plagiarism?

'Birdman' shares much DNA with Woody Allen's 'Bullets Over Broadway'
Broadchurch ends as damp squib not even David Tennant can revive

A damp squib not even David Tennant can revive

Broadchurch, Series 2 finale, review
A Koi carp breeding pond, wall-mounted iPads and a bathroom with a 'wellness' shower: inside the mansion of Germany's 'Bishop of Bling'

Inside the mansion of Germany's 'Bishop of Bling'

A Koi carp breeding pond, wall-mounted iPads and a bathroom with a 'wellness' shower