Quotes of the day - 24 September

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The Independent Online

"A suave, modest, sophisticated, talented, modest, debonair, modest and charming individual" - Mocking self-description by ex-Bond actor Sir Roger Moore.

"Anyone who thinks global warming has stopped has their head in the sand" - A statement from the Met Office.

"You don't need to retire in acting - there'll always be a need for a granny somewhere" - Actress Honeysuckle Weeks, who played the army chauffeur in TV's Foyle's War.

"Botox and facelifts can make people look like they are in a wind tunnel" - Actress Lynda Bellingham.

"Death can stretch out at any time and take you. It does not ask permission" - Actor Kelsey Grammer, star of the TV hit series Frasier.

"You can rely on Yorkshire people to talk straight. An old man in Barnsley said to me recently 'So, you're Jack Parkinson's lad. What you been up to?"' - Sir Michael Parkinson.

"There are only so many ways you can have sex, and I think I have done every single one" - Jeanne Yarde, 82, best-selling author of erotic novels.

"If your bum started descending when you were just 14, it doesn't really matter where it is today" - Actress Dawn French on ageing.

"For 25 years, I trudged to Blackpool or Brighton for a packed week of politics, plots, booze and blether. The hotels were always reliably dingy with heart attack breakfasts and bijou bedrooms. I was seduced by an atmosphere of hard politics laced with under-eating and over-drinking" - MP Paul Flynn recalls past party conferences.

"Indolence is a form of industry - as the song puts it, we're busy doing nothing, finding things not to do" - Playwright and commentator Keith Waterhouse.

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