Rory Bremner: The 5-Minute Interview

'I haven't voted Tory for 26 years and even then I was only obeying orders'
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The Independent Online

Rory Bremner's show 'Rory Bremner Uncorked', presented by Bailie Nicol Jarvie, begins a UK tour tomorrow

My show will be ...

Kind of George Galloway meets Spitting Image meets Question Time. I've missed being on tour. It's important being in front an audience. It makes you get your act together.

If I wasn't talking to you right now I'd be ...

Getting my head round what I'm going to say in my show, and writing. More likely I'd be frantically getting involved in displacement activities like shopping for gadgets. It's a trait I discover in myself when I should be getting down to work. I'm a bit of an Apple-holic. But if an iPod is the soundtrack to your life I'm in the wrong one because mine is as likely to have David Davis on it as David Bowie.

A phrase I use far too often is ...

"Can I have the bill please." When I am working on the show I don't tend to cook for myself. I'm always zooming out and grabbing a bite to eat at my local with a fork in one hand and a pen in the other.

I'm not a politician but ...

What more does Tony Blair have to do before people finally twig?

A common misperception of me is ...

That I must be a Conservative - which amazes me, because I seem to go further to the left with each year. Either that, or everyone else is lurching to the right. For heaven's sake, Blair's now too right-wing for the Conservative Party. I haven't voted Conservative for 26 years and even then I was only carrying out orders.

The ideal night out is ...

Good company, good food, and a lot of laughter. Maybe seeing a new play or a film. Seeing friends you haven't seen in a while where you can completely relax is good.

The most surprising thing that ever happened to me was ...

Bowling Brian Lara. It was a benefit game for Malcolm Marshall's family and Lara was trying to hit me into the sea (we were in London at the time). The ball, a leg-break, turned just enough to beat the bat and hit leg stump. The crowd were furious. Let's face it, they were hardly there to see me. I promise it won't happen again.

I'm very bad at ...

Making decisions, and more specifically, saying "no". I hate letting people down, which gets me into all sorts of trouble because it means you never have enough time to do anything properly.

In certain moments of weakness, I ...

Say "yes".

I wish people would take more notice of ...

Each other.

You know me as an impressionist, but in a different life I'd have been a ...

Sportsman. To be able to take part in a series like the Ashes or the Rugby World Cup - or even the Olympics - when you're young and at the peak of fitness must be a blast. But then it must also be very demanding, and injury and a run of bad form must really test your resolve.

The best age to be is ...

Thirty-three, because you are old enough to know yourself and not too knackered to enjoy life - your body isn't wrecked by early onset arthritis, obesity and laziness.

In a nutshell, my philosophy is this ...

Do your best. And if you fail to prepare, be prepared to fail.

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