The 5-Minute Interview: Anne Fine, author

'People expect me to be spontaneously quick-witted but I'm really not'

The British novelist Anne Fine has written more than 50 children's books since her debut in 1978. She has received a series of honours, including the position of Children's Laureate in 2001 and an OBE in 2003. Several of her stories have been made into films, including the 2003 blockbuster, 'Mrs Doubtfire'. Her most recent work, 'Ivan The Terrible', is a finalist in the Nestlé Book Prize, to be awarded next month.

If I weren't talking to you right now ...

I'd be completing the last few changes of my most recent children's book, Fly In The Ointment. I have also just completed another called Eating Things On Sticks, which shall be released later next year.

A common misperception of me is ...

Because I write comedy, people expect me to be spontaneously quick-witted, when unfortunately I'm not.

A phrase I use too often ...

"What you should have done is ..."– normally before the person has had the chance to finish what they were trying to say.

The most surprising thing to happen to me was ...

Winning the Whitbread Award for Children's Literature for a second time.

I wish that people would take more notice of ...

Getting rid of all that ghastly, tinny noise you're forced to listen to in pubs, trains and restaurants.

I am not a politician but if I were ...

I'd close the Department of Education.

I am good at ...

Parking in tiny places.

I am very bad at ...

Buttoning my beak.

The ideal night out is ...

An early party, followed by an early bath and then early to bed.

The best age to be is ...

Anything over 40.

In weak moments I ...

Have a bath and read a book. At the moment I am reading Making Babies by Anne Enright.

You know me as an author but in a truer life I'd have been ...

A trampolinist. I've only done it once, at the age of 22. I completed a somersault and landed faultlessly. People couldn't believe I've never done it before.

In a nutshell my philosophy is ...

You can't possibly have everything. Where on earth would you put it?