The 5-Minute Interview; Kathy Lette, Author

Lette entered the public arena in 1979 with her autobiographical book 'Puberty Blues', which was followed by 'Girls' Night Out', 'Foetal Attraction' and 'Mad Cows'. Her most recent novel is 'How To Kill Your Husband (and Other Handy Household Hints)'.

If I weren't talking to you right now I'd be ...

Enduring the school run. The Dunkirk evacuation must have been easier to organise than a working mum getting her kids up and out of the house in the morning. Hubbies always say they'd like to help more around the house, only they can't multitask. But of course they'd have no problem at, say, an orgy. I've abdicated responsibility today.

A phrase I use far too often is ...

"Many marriages break up for religious reasons. He thinks he's a god and, well, she just doesn't."

The most surprising thing that happened to me was ...

Motherhood. Even though I am occasionally tempted to shove my kids back into the condom vending machine for the refund, I love my son and daughter with a primal passion.

A common misperception of me is...

That I don't like men. I am very partial to blokes, especially naked on a bed of lettuce.

I'm not a politician but...

I care passionately about women's rights. It infuriates me that women in Britain don't have equal pay and are still getting concussion hitting our heads on the glass ceiling. We're also expected to Windex it while we're up there.

I'm good at...

Swimming. Growing up as a surfie chick in Oz, shark infested waters were an excellent incentive for aquatic sprinting. What I don't understand is if swimming's so good for losing weight, how do you explain walruses and whales?

But I'm very bad at...

Maths. Men have been able to trick me into believing they're doing 50 per cent of the cooking and child care.

My ideal night out is...

The reason I took to motherhood so easily was that I was already programmed to the baby's schedule - up all night drinking.

In a moment of weakness I ...

Nearly allowed a beauty therapist to talk me into a cream that peels away wrinkles. Think of it as Ebola in a jar. It was only after she suggested Botox, collagen and a nose job that it dawned on me she was facially prejudiced.

You know me as a writer, but in truer life I'd have been...

An opera singer. I adore the way they get stabbed but just keep on singing.

The best age to be is...

Late 20s. Before you learn love prepares you for marriage the way needlepoint prepares you for round-the-world solo yachting.

In a nutshell, my philosophy is this...

Never wait to be rescued by some knight in shining Armani. A woman must learn to stand on her own stilettos.

Sara Newman