The 5-Minute Interview: Rik Mayall, Comedian

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Rik Mayall, 48, stars in 'Alan B'stard's Extremely Secret Weapon' at Trafalgar Studio in Whitehall from 13 December until 27 January

The tour so far has been ...

Great. I was on tour this summer and the Manchester Evening News gave me the best comedy performance award of 2006.

My characters tend to be ...

The baddy. But I think I'd do a good Jesus.

A phrase I use far too often ...

"Where's my Viagra?"

The most surprising thing that happened to me was ...

Waking up alive on Bank Holiday Monday 1998. I fell off a quad bike and my skull filled with loose blood, mashing my brain. I was dead for five days.

I am not a politician but ...

If I was, I would bring down Western civilisation in all its entirety, apart from licensing hours.

I'm good at ...

Being an astonishingly well-hung, pan-global, light entertainer phenomenon.

The ideal night out is ...

I'm not allowed out.

In moments of weakness, I ...

I don't have moments of weakness. I'm Rik Mayall.

You know me as a comedian but in truer life I'd have been a ...

Breast enthusiast. I failed all my A levels so I might have been a hangman but the bastards took away capital punishment.

In a nutshell, my philosophy is this:

Never ever ever ever ever bloody anything ever. Me and Ade [Edmondson] wrote that when we were tiny.

Sara Newman

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The 5-Minute Interview: Rik Mayall, Comedian

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