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Quotes of the day - 23 October 2008

"He has taken up more positions on immigration than someone in training with the Kama Sutra" - Liberal Democratic home affairs spokesman Chris Huhne on Phil Woolas who, he said, had made a "cack-handed" start as Immigration Minister.

"That kind of celebrity programme, whether it be people dancing, people singing or people I don't know having each other's husbands and wives, it doesn't interest me" - Sir Michael Parkinson.

"The big rock obsession - mine's bigger than yours - is like a schoolyard competition" - Top jeweller Theo Fennell, whose clients include Victoria Beckham and Elizabeth Hurley, on the preference for large diamonds rather than "real beauty and craftsmanship".

"Let's be honest: passion in a relationship only lasts about 18 months, and that's when boredom can set in" - TV star Sharon Maughan.

"His tastes are quite Ivan the Terrible" - Nicky Haslam, who masterminded the redecoration of the Moscow flat of Russian oligarch Oleg Deripaska, the man at the centre of the George Osborne affair.

"Craftsmanship is the way forward. It's perfect for the credit crunch. Things like knitting and so on are very important and very English. It's definitely a good time to start making your own things" - Henry Conway, fashionista son of troubled Tory MP Derek Conway.

"The No Smoking loos at the National Gallery are without doubt the warmest in London, a fact well-known among members of the tramping fraternity who are expert at taking as long as one hour to complete their toilet" - Extract from The Good Loo Guide by Jonathan Routh.

"You could reverse my age and make it 28. When the young fellows are exhausted at six o'clock, this old turtle is going on" - Dr Ian Paisley, 82, who claims to have "marvellous health".

"They're very nice boys, very down to earth and sweet, but there's nothing romantic going on at all. They just came up and said hello. There's no texting going on" - Socialite Paris Hilton, denying that she had been flirting with Princes William and Harry, whom she met at a London hotel.

"Without wanting to sound too cold-blooded about it, these drivers are paid millions to take a few risks and the consequence of Formula One becoming too tame is that the fans will get turned off. This sport should be the nearest modern equivalent to an old Roman chariot race, full of edge and visceral excitement" - Former Tory Cabinet minister David Mellor.