Was Miley Cyrus hospitalised due to severe allergic reaction to fame and over-promotion?
There’s a rather short answer to this question: No.
“Kansas I promise I’m as [heartbroken emoticon] as you are. I wanted so badly 2 b there 2night [sad cat crying emoticon]. Not being with yall[sic] makes me feel sh**tier than I already do [hospital masked emoticon].”
She also posted the above picture of herself and “Mr Octopussy”, a plastic toy who she claims to be among the practitioners in charge of her recovery.
Others, however – including ourselves – do appear to be suffering from the ill effects of chronic Miley fame fatigue.
Symptoms include the inability to look at a computer screen without seeing repeat images of her face, the loss of the use of normal language in favour of emoticons and long and sustained subjection to headlines featuring the word “twerk”.
As of yet, there appears no cure. Though those with severe adversities are advised to lock themselves in a small timber hut in the Tibetan mountains far away from Western society, which has become almost entirely saturated with high-legged leotards, crotch-thrusts and wrecking balls.
It’s genuinely the only way to escape.
- 3 Pansexual: What is it - and when did the term gain popularity?
Miley Cyrus calls out hypocrisy of women’s nipples being taboo
The man who sold Minecraft to Microsoft for £2.5 billion says it's made him miserable
Nazi 'gold train': Fire engulfs suspected location of vehicle in Poland
Blood Moon and Supermoon: September to bring brightest – and dimmest – full Moon of the year on same night
Isis releases graphic video showing four Shia 'spies' being burned alive in Anbar, Iraq
Climate change: 2015 will be the hottest year on record 'by a mile', experts say
Jeremy Corbyn calls Osama bin Laden's killing a 'tragedy' - but was it taken out of context?
Tony Blair attacks Jeremy Corbyn's 'Alice In Wonderland' politics
Theresa May says migrants should be banned from entering the UK unless they have jobs lined up
Iain Duncan Smith 'should resign over disability benefit death figures', says Jeremy Corbyn
UN investigating British Government over human rights abuses caused by IDS welfare reforms
£20000 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: An Internal Recruiter (manufact...
£50000 - £55000 per annum + 25 days holidays & benefits: Ashdown Group: HR Man...
£40000 - £48000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This software company specialis...
£28000 - £35000 per annum + Benefits: Ashdown Group: A successful organisation...