Don't worry, control of the Russian gecko sex satellite has been restored

Research into gecko sex in zero gravity thought still to be 'viable'

Click to follow
The Independent Online

Russian space agency Roscosmos has confirmed that it has re-established communication with its Foton-M4 satellite, meaning there are no longer sexually experimental geckos drifting lost in space, possibly building their own government and conspiring to populate a planet.

The satellite made headlines last week when ground lost control with it just days after launch and was no longer able to send it commands.

"The link is established, the prescribed commands have been conducted in accordance with the plan," said Roscosmos chief official Oleg Nikolayevich Ostapenko.

Foton-M4 has a five-gecko crew, who were fired into space to test the effects of microgravity on sex, with this phase of the experiment already being underway when communication was lost.

The Foton M4 was launched using a Soyuz rocket (as seen in this picture from 2012)

Ostapenko added that "90 percent" of the satellite’s experiments are still viable, but didn't specify whether this included the sexually experimental lizards.

Flies, plant seeds, and various microorganism are also aboard the Foton-M4, the loss of control on which might have been caused by it being struck by orbital debris.

Had communication not been restored, the satellite would have orbited the Earth for about four months instead of two, and, bar any dystopian coups, the gecko crew would have perished upon uncontrolled atmospheric re-entry.