Don't worry, control of the Russian gecko sex satellite has been restored
Research into gecko sex in zero gravity thought still to be 'viable'
Russian space agency Roscosmos has confirmed that it has re-established communication with its Foton-M4 satellite, meaning there are no longer sexually experimental geckos drifting lost in space, possibly building their own government and conspiring to populate a planet.
The satellite made headlines last week when ground lost control with it just days after launch and was no longer able to send it commands.
"The link is established, the prescribed commands have been conducted in accordance with the plan," said Roscosmos chief official Oleg Nikolayevich Ostapenko.
Foton-M4 has a five-gecko crew, who were fired into space to test the effects of microgravity on sex, with this phase of the experiment already being underway when communication was lost. The Foton M4 was launched using a Soyuz rocket (as seen in this picture from 2012)
Ostapenko added that "90 percent" of the satellite’s experiments are still viable, but didn't specify whether this included the sexually experimental lizards.
Flies, plant seeds, and various microorganism are also aboard the Foton-M4, the loss of control on which might have been caused by it being struck by orbital debris.
Had communication not been restored, the satellite would have orbited the Earth for about four months instead of two, and, bar any dystopian coups, the gecko crew would have perished upon uncontrolled atmospheric re-entry.
Culinary experts in The Netherlands thought it was 'fresh' and 'tasty'
Of all the computers Apple has ever made there’s only one that Steve Jobs had to sell his car to finance
- 1 As an ex prostitute, I urge all the political parties to commit to the Sex Buyer Law
- 2 Nokia no more: Microsoft drops once-ubiquitous mobile name – in favour of its Lumia brand
- 3 Renee Zellweger on plastic surgery: 'I'm living a fulfilling life and I'm thrilled that perhaps it shows'
- 4 Australian café owner sparks debate after saying 'No' to having unruly children on premises
- 5 Couple die within 28 hours of each other after being married for 73 years
Renee Zellweger on plastic surgery: 'I'm living a fulfilling life and I'm thrilled that perhaps it shows'
Isis releases first video showing the stoning of woman accused of committing adultery as her father shouts 'don't call me Dad'
Banksy not arrested: Internet duped by fake report claiming artist's identity revealed
Diwali: What is the festival of lights and how is it celebrated around the world?
Nelson Bunker Hunt dead: Former world’s richest man dies in 'modest circumstances' in US after losing his fortune
Cameron is warned 'no possibility' of UK reducing immigration and that bid to bring in quota on migrant workers would be illegal
Of course, teenage girls need role models – but not like beauty vlogger Zoella
Support for EU membership 'at highest level since 1991' with most Brits wanting to stay 'in'
Residents should throw a street party and mix with immigrant neighbours, councils told
Russell Brand threatened with arrest after filming outside Fox News headquarters
London bus driver 'kicks gay couple off for kissing'
£25000 - £30000 Per Annum: Clearwater People Solutions Ltd: Our large organisa...
£100 - £105 per day + plus free travel scheme: Randstad Education Cardiff: The...
£30000 - £35000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Marketing Manager (CIM, B2B, Adobe, ...
£20000 - £22000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Systems Tester - Functional/Non-Func...