The Great Escape: The Ballad of the Tamworth Pigs
We asked our house poet Martin Newell to muse on the subject
Thursday 15 January 1998
From piggery to table
Both saw the hand of chance held out
And grabbed while they were able
"O not for us the butcher's knife
And not for us the stun-gun
For by the time the week is out
They'll know of us in London"
Out of the trailer, through a gap
To run where it might lead them
Since rasher moves are what succeed
Along the road to freedom
Now Tamworth pigs are ginger pigs
Resourceful, quick and gritty
And make up in athletics
What they miss in being pretty
For having gained some distance
From the slaughterhouse's thugs
They swam the River Avon
Like a chinese team on drugs
They foraged in some woodland
In a Malmesbury environ
Their trademark Tamworth trotter prints
Proclaimed these Pigs of Iron
And they became the heroes
Of a sentimental nation
As the Cassidy and Sundance
Of a porcine situation.
- 1 Katie Hopkins attacked me on Twitter — so I reported her to the police for inciting racial hatred
- 2 Google April Fools': company unveils backwards search engine and huggable digital assistant
- 3 I might be an MP, but that doesn't stop me fighting sexism with my breasts
- 4 April Fools' Day 2015: The best hoax news stories from around the internet
- 5 Gamers confess the worst things they've done in The Sims
Holborn fire: Chaos as 2,000 people evacuated to escape toxic smoke filling central London
University of Cambridge: Remains of 1,300 scholars are found under building
April Fools' Day 2015: The best hoax news stories from around the internet
April Fools' Day 2015 live: The best pranks and fake stories from around the world
Jeremy Clarkson 'could be given minder' ahead of a potential Top Gear return
Street preacher quoting from the Bible fined for calling homosexuality an 'abomination'
Katie Hopkins attacked me on Twitter — so I reported her to the police for inciting racial hatred
Woman filmed launching racist tirade against men on the Tube for speaking in 'own lingo'
David Cameron calls Labour 'hopeless, sneering socialists' while announcing 7-day NHS plans
Revealed: Putin's army of pro-Kremlin bloggers
Katie Hopkins reported to the police for race hatred by Labour MP Simon Danczuk after tweet about Pakistani men
£18000 - £22000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an exciting opportunity...
£30000 - £35000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Working closely with the market...
£20000 - £50000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A reputable company, famed for ...
Negotiable: Ashdown Group: The Ashdown Group has been engaged by a highly resp...