The new version, written by Peter Waine, a recruitment firm director, sees Eeyore packed off to a donkey sanctuary and Pooh's famous balloon sponsored by Virgin. The characters all have broad Glaswegian accents and the text is littered with expletives. Mr Waine, 47, described his tale as: "rude but loyal to the original ... I think AA Milne would not mind what I have done," he said. "I don't think he would understand the fuss anyway."
Not even the innocent world of Winnie the Pooh is sacred, it seems. A radical adaptation of the AA Milne children's classic in which Piglet is painted as a swearing drunk and Pooh as a homosexual has been penned by a businessman keen to give the characters "more of a racy treatment".