THE SKETCH: A soldierly sort gives PM grief over Ozzy comes to grief over Ozzy's accident Blair spends a lot of time grieving these days

AGAIN, THE Prime Minister had his sad face on. He began PMQs with it. He was grieving for families of soldiers killed in Iraq.

He grieves a lot these days, it's surprising he gets anything else done. Maybe you can process grief more efficiently if you practise. Perhaps he's got a book: Ten Grieving Tips For Busy People.

When you're Prime Minister so much time is taken up providing the tools to allow people to choose the skills programmes to fulfil their potential in community partnerships and lifelong learning.

There's not the luxury to spend looking at the wall and folding and refolding your hands wondering why your son died. There's not the leisure to remember your little one as a five-year-old going "Bang! Bang!" in the back garden, or pushing him around in a wheel barrow on summer evenings. Julian Brazier is a gangling, good-hearted, soldierly sort of fellow. He referred to these servicemen who'd given their lives so that elections might be held in Iraq. He asked the Prime Minister why "when he'd found time to drop a line to Ozzy Osbourne who fell off his quad bike" he hadn't found time to write to or visit any of these aforementioned families. The words "Ozzy Osbourne" were very effective in this context. As were "quad bike".

"I'm sorry he makes that point in those terms," the Prime Minister replied, provoking an odd, snorting noise from parts of his audience.

"We grieve for the families," he went on, "we give them every support, everyone in this House does. That is the case for myself."

Well, not quite every support. American families are to get half a million dollars for their bereavement. Here, Mr Brazier suggested, they don't get so much as a visit from a cabinet minister. Maybe the Government doesn't want "to intrude on their grief". But then nothing's ever prevented them intruding before, there must be another explanation.

The elections were "truly heart-warming", Mr Blair answered another question. The turnout "disproved the theory that somehow there are people somewhere who don't want to live in a democracy". We were back into Mr Blair's moral totalitarianism. "Our values aren't Labour values, or Western values," he says fervently, "they are universal human values!" This is misleading the House. There is only one value that is universal to humanity and it makes us all recoil from the smell of shit (there are evolutionary reasons for that).

But however some of us recoil from Mr Blair's "universal values" the rhetoric is more significant than it might appear. If he can carry off this flourish and make a political proposition out of his universal values, he will have the apparatus to do something really surprising. Like invade Africa for its own good.

Perhaps we shouldn't stop him. He'd enjoy it very much, and it's always nice to see the Prime Minister's happy face.

Simoncarr75@hotmail.com

Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
ebooks
ebooksA special investigation by Andy McSmith
  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Chiropractic Assistant

£16500 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Chiropractic Assistant is needed in a ...

Recruitment Genius: Digital Account Executive - Midlands

£18000 - £26000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: They work with major vehicle ma...

Recruitment Genius: Web Developer

£28000 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This company provides coaching ...

Ashdown Group: Front-End UI Application Developer

£30000 - £40000 per annum + Benefits: Ashdown Group: Front-End UI Application ...

Day In a Page

Timeless drama of Championship race in league of its own - Michael Calvin

Michael Calvin's Last Word

Timeless drama of Championship race in league of its own
Where the spooks get their coffee fix: The busiest Starbucks in the US is also the most secretive

The secret CIA Starbucks

The coffee shop is deep inside the agency's forested Virginia compound
Revealed: How the Establishment closed ranks over fallout from Loch Ness Monster 'sighting'

How the Establishment closed ranks over fallout from Nessie 'sighting'

The Natural History Museum's chief scientist was dismissed for declaring he had found the monster
One million Britons using food banks, according to Trussell Trust

One million Britons using food banks

Huge surge in number of families dependent on emergency food aid
Excavation at Italian cafe to fix rising damp unearths 2,500 years of history in 3,000 amazing objects

2,500 years of history in 3,000 amazing objects

Excavation at Italian cafe to fix rising damp unearths trove
The Hubble Space Telescope's amazing journey, 25 years on

The Hubble Space Telescope's amazing journey 25 years on

The space telescope was seen as a costly flop on its first release
Did Conservative peer Lord Ashcroft quit the House of Lords to become a non-dom?

Did Lord Ashcroft quit the House of Lords to become a non-dom?

A document seen by The Independent shows that a week after he resigned from the Lords he sold 350,000 shares in an American company - netting him $11.2m
Apple's ethnic emojis are being used to make racist comments on social media

Ethnic emojis used in racist comments

They were intended to promote harmony, but have achieved the opposite
Sir Kenneth Branagh interview: 'My bones are in the theatre'

Sir Kenneth Branagh: 'My bones are in the theatre'

The actor-turned-director’s new company will stage five plays from October – including works by Shakespeare and John Osborne
The sloth is now the face (and furry body) of three big advertising campaigns

The sloth is the face of three ad campaigns

Priya Elan discovers why slow and sleepy wins the race for brands in need of a new image
How to run a restaurant: As two newbies discovered, there's more to it than good food

How to run a restaurant

As two newbies discovered, there's more to it than good food
Record Store Day: Remembering an era when buying and selling discs were labours of love

Record Store Day: The vinyl countdown

For Lois Pryce, working in a record shop was a dream job - until the bean counters ruined it
Usher, Mary J Blige and Will.i.am to give free concert as part of the Global Poverty Project

Mary J Blige and Will.i.am to give free concert

The concert in Washington is part of the Global Citizen project, which aims to encourage young people to donate to charity
10 best tote bags

Accessorise with a stylish shopper this spring: 10 best tote bags

We find carriers with room for all your essentials (and a bit more)
Paul Scholes column: I hear Manchester City are closing on Pep Guardiola for next summer – but I'd also love to see Jürgen Klopp managing in England

Paul Scholes column

I hear Manchester City are closing on Pep Guardiola for next summer – but I'd also love to see Jürgen Klopp managing in England