The street party goes upmarket: Doing it in style
Sunday 18 July 1999
Invite people via accommodation numbers not names - double-barrelled monikers may intimidate some. "Hello, we're number 37", will no doubt be enough to indicate whether the guests have roses round the door or a clapped-out Cortina in the front garden.
Games are a must. Spot The Non-Organic Apple is a joy - just don't eat it! British Bulldog is fun for all ages - have the Georgian mews line up against the council block for extra frisson.
Get the tucker in now before the millennium computer bug plays havoc with supply lines, and celebrate the golden age of the street party with long-life goodies such as Spam fritters, powdered egg and processed cheese. Order your fruit jelly from Marco Pierre White now. Remember, children will love the new burger-chain cucumber sandwich, the McCool.
You have 1,000 years to choose from. Sun-dried tomatoes make excellent medieval face boils. Georgian gentlemen should take care to use the right sort of white powder on their noses. Send the au pair up the chimney for that authentic Victorian look. And of course, for wartime glamour stain your legs with gravy browning - but keep away from next-door's labrador.
The Max Bygraves revival starts here. The Best Street Party Album in the World Ever, Vol 2, features all your favourites such as "Roll out the latte", "Pack up your troubles in your fendi baguette", "Down at the Old Terence Conran" and "Knees up Mother Earth".
- 1 UK pirates will get four warning letters a year
- 2 Apple has installed security backdoors on 600m iPhones and iPads, claims security researcher
- 3 Malaysia Airlines MH17 crash: Pro-Russian rebel 'admits to shooting down plane'
- 4 Is Gideon Levy the most hated man in Israel or just the most heroic?
- 5 Students offered grants if they tweet pro-Israeli propaganda
Malaysia Airlines MH17 crash: Pro-Russian rebel 'admits to shooting down plane'
Is Gideon Levy the most hated man in Israel or just the most heroic?
Israel-Gaza conflict: Deadly flechette shells 'used by Israeli military in Gaza Strip’
Malaysia Airlines MH17 crash: Blogger captures footage ‘showing BUK missile launcher that shot down jet’ now back in Russia
In pictures: Israel-Gaza conflict
Malaysia Airlines flight MH17 crash: 'Nine Britons, 23 Americans and 80 children' feared dead after Boeing passenger jet is 'shot down' near Ukraine-Russia border
Malaysia Airlines MH17 crash: Vladimir Putin is given 'one last chance' to end hostilities in Ukraine
The 'scroungers’ fight back: The welfare claimants battling to alter stereotypes
The truth about conspiracy theories is that some require considering
Malaysia Airlines MH17 crash: Ukrainian military jet was flying close to passenger plane before it was shot down, says Russian officer
Malaysia Airlines MH17 crash: victims’ bodies bundled in black bags and loaded onto trains
£55000 Per Annum plus company car and bonus scheme: The Green Recruitment Comp...
competitive: Progressive Recruitment: Lead Hand - QCProgressive are recruiting...
£40000 - £45000 per annum + competitive: Progressive Recruitment: Chemical Eng...
Competitive: The Green Recruitment Company: Job Title: Scheme Manager (BREEAM)...