The street party goes upmarket: Doing it in style
Sunday 18 July 1999
Invite people via accommodation numbers not names - double-barrelled monikers may intimidate some. "Hello, we're number 37", will no doubt be enough to indicate whether the guests have roses round the door or a clapped-out Cortina in the front garden.
Games are a must. Spot The Non-Organic Apple is a joy - just don't eat it! British Bulldog is fun for all ages - have the Georgian mews line up against the council block for extra frisson.
Get the tucker in now before the millennium computer bug plays havoc with supply lines, and celebrate the golden age of the street party with long-life goodies such as Spam fritters, powdered egg and processed cheese. Order your fruit jelly from Marco Pierre White now. Remember, children will love the new burger-chain cucumber sandwich, the McCool.
You have 1,000 years to choose from. Sun-dried tomatoes make excellent medieval face boils. Georgian gentlemen should take care to use the right sort of white powder on their noses. Send the au pair up the chimney for that authentic Victorian look. And of course, for wartime glamour stain your legs with gravy browning - but keep away from next-door's labrador.
The Max Bygraves revival starts here. The Best Street Party Album in the World Ever, Vol 2, features all your favourites such as "Roll out the latte", "Pack up your troubles in your fendi baguette", "Down at the Old Terence Conran" and "Knees up Mother Earth".
X Factor judge will appear in court later this month
The Google future, including microphones in every ceiling and data sent directly to your brain
Gurdwaras-turned-food banks: Sikh temples are catering for rise in Britain’s hungry
The poorest pay the price for austerity: Workers face biggest fall in living standards since Victorian era
N Korea confirms removal of Kim Jong-un’s 'depraved' uncle Jang Song Thaek
10 stone five-year-old taken into care
'I'm experiencing austerity as well', says Princess Michael of Kent
- 1 Gurdwaras-turned-food banks: Sikh temples are catering for rise in Britain’s hungry
- 2 Council bans use of word ‘Commie’ – but ‘fascist’ and ‘Nazi’ are fine
- 3 The poorest pay the price for austerity: Workers face biggest fall in living standards since Victorian era
- 4 Newly vegan Beyoncé wears fox fur to dine in meat free restaurant
- 5 'I'm experiencing austerity as well', says Princess Michael of Kent
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