The heartbroken sister of fugitive gunman Raoul Moat's young victim said today that she wished he was not dead.
Speaking on the day of his funeral, Kelly Stobbart said she felt guilty over the steroid-addicted killer's death in Rothbury, Northumberland, 23 days ago.
Mother-of-two Miss Stobbart, the half sister of Sam Stobbart, predicted Moat would rather "go out in a blaze of glory" than give himself up after he went on the run last month.
She had urged the former doorman to hand himself in to police or to "do the decent thing" and kill himself.
The 27-year-old sobbed as she spoke of her regret at those words, and said: "I don't hate him and I wish he was not dead.
"I can't believe it has all ended like this."
Miss Stobbart was forced into hiding when Moat, 37, went on the rampage after blasting his ex-girlfriend Sam, 22, in the arm and stomach.
She was told by police that her life could be in danger and was taken to a safe house after calling Moat a coward who "did not have the bottle" to shoot himself.
She had said: "He wants a stand-off with the police, so they'll either have to shoot him in the knees or kill him.
"He wants to be known as a guy who went to prison because he shot a load of coppers or who died trying."
And addressing the ex-convict, who was jailed for assaulting a child, she said: "Either hand yourself in or do the decent thing and kill yourself."
Miss Stobbart said today: "It has all ended wrong.
"I know what I said and I can't take it back. I'm absolutely cut up inside, it is doing my head in.
"There is no justice."
Miss Stobbart said she and her family had not been invited to the funeral.
"It's a private ceremony and they do not want us there."
Meanwhile, reports that friends planned to scatter Moat's ashes in Rothbury were met with anger locally.
Steven Bridgett, Northumberland County Councillor for Rothbury division, said that, since Moat killed himself, a steady stream of ghouls had come to visit the spot where he died and take pictures of themselves in the culvert where he may have hid.
"This is attracting even more attention to this community that we do not want," he said.
"The village wants to move on from the events of the last month and forget about what happened.
"If any of his friends and family have any sense they would know better than to do this at the site where he died and make it even more of a memorial for all the idiots who come into the village."
Moat's funeral will be held later at the West Road Crematorium in Newcastle, less than a mile from his house in Fenham Hall Drive.
His family previously said Moat would be cremated to avoid ghouls paying homage at a grave to the ex-bouncer, who declared war on police.
Moat shot himself in the head following a six-hour stand-off with police on July 10.
He had been on the run for a week having shot his ex-lover in Birtley, Gateshead, killed her new boyfriend Chris Brown, then a day later blasted unarmed Pc David Rathband in Newcastle.
An initial post-mortem examination carried out the day after Moat died on the banks of the River Coquet found the cause of death to be a gunshot wound consistent with the sawn-off shotgun the former doorman was carrying.
But after seeing Moat's body for themselves and hearing that police marksmen fired Tasers at around the same time as he died, the family was left with unanswered questions.
They paid £600 for a second post-mortem examination, the results of which may be released in a statement next week.