DIARY

Mr Creutzfeldt's big moment

Word reaches me from a young man particularly distressed by the latest CJD scare. While going quietly about his business for the London auctioneers Christie's all week, people keep accosting him to demand if he has something to do with the beef scare. "And then I have to come clean," confesses one Benjamin Creutzfeldt, "that it was my grandfather who first diagnosed the whole thing."

The young Mr Creutzfeldt, long familiar with his grandfather's work, has been so put out by the latest coverage of the disease that he has taken to writing to the papers.

"I'm no scientist myself," he concedes, "but the first case my grandfather diagnosed was back in 1913. And it was a woman aged only 23 - which does rather make you wonder why we are reading so much into cases of young people today."

I for one am inclined to be most reassured. Soothing words from a Creutzfeldt himself!

Alas, there is a nasty sting in the tail. "The only thing is," he admits, "she was a butcher's daughter."

The CJD scare has brought Benjamin one unexpected benefit. "For the first time in my life, suddenly everyone can spell my name."

With Kylie you can burn in Hull

One can only speculate about the music to which one burns in hell. What we do now know is the music to which one burns in Hull. It is Kylie Minogue's chart-topping single "I Should Be So Lucky".

The local council has been forced to employ an extra technician at the city crematorium to cope with the strain, since the people of Hull are increasingly choosing their favourite pop tunes to accompany them to the other side instead of more traditional hymns. According to John Le Nepveu, the assistant director of leisure services, "It has created a lot of work, making sure the tapes are set up correctly and so we have had to employ another technician."

The alternative to Kylie (above) is "Simply the Best" by Tina Turner, although one man decided to be more literal, and was accompanied into the furnace by the inevitable line from Frank Sinatra's "My Way": "And so I face the final curtain."

Krays were a bunch of lightweights

Rifling through old programmes at a party for the 125th birthday of the Royal Albert Hall, I was interested in one long-forgotten event, an International Boxing Tournament in December 1951. The night was unusual in having three brothers fighting on the same bill, the only time the three did so. One's heart goes out to their opponents. The bruvvers were the welterweight Charlie Kray and the lightweights Reggie and Ronnie of the same surname.

Nice one, Selina

Guests at the British Television Advertising Awards were somewhat startled to hear Selina Scott announce the winners of the prize for public service advertising.

Many years in front of the camera have still, it seems, not wisened the winsome presenter to the perils of the autocue. Up on her screen came the results - last Christmas's controversial "Dave" anti-drink drive ad, made for the Department of Transport and the COI - the Central Office of Information.

"And the winner is..." she declared, "CO One!"

A bemused audience was left marvelling at the audacity of a Department of Transport ad campaign to promote the virtues of carbon monoxide.

Great advert, shame about the facts ...

No advertising award for the hoarding that the Scottish Widows insurance company has put up in Edinburgh.

It boasts that Sir Walter Scott wrote Ivanhoe. True. It adds that he sold books by the million. Also true. It concludes with a flourish that he took out a policy with Scottish Widows. Indeed he did: a policy for pounds 3,000 on 20 December 1824. What it neglects to say is that he went bankrupt two years later.

Joanna would make a fabulous art critic

Joanna Lumley has a pretty good day job. But should she ever consider turning her back on Patsy in Absolutely Fabulous, she could take up the cudgels as an art critic.

In the National Gallery's newsletter she chooses her favourite picture in the gallery, writing about Bartolome Bermejo's Saint Michael triumphant over the Devil with Donor Antonio Juan: "Set against a traditional gold leaf background, Saint Michael is shown poised to deliver the exterminating blow to the devil-dragon under his feet. It is a moment frozen in time: the sword gleams, the saint's cloak swirls, the monster shrieks and cringes. Quietly observing the skirmish is Antonio Juan who commissioned the work, the Lord of Tous, pensively thumbing through the psalms. The effect is dazzling. The devil, his reptilian elbows yawning up scaly bird's claws, has bat's ears and lethal teeth. His belly gapes into a terrifying second face, with staring ruby nipples gleaming bulbously."

I suggest that Miss Lumley, 50 in May, moves on from acting and becomes one of the few critics with the style and enthusiasm to make you actually want to see the picture.

Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
News
election 2015The 10 best quotes of the campaign
News
A caravan being used as a polling station in Ford near Salisbury, during the 2010 election
election 2015The Independent's guide to get you through polling day
News
people
Voices
David Blunkett joins the Labour candidate for Redcar Anna Turley on a campaigning visit last month
voicesWhat I learnt from my years in government, by the former Home Secretary David Blunkett
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
ebooks
ebooksA celebration of British elections
  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Ashdown Group: Marketing Manager (B2B) - Romford - £40,000 + car

£35000 - £40000 per annum + car and benefits: Ashdown Group: Marketing Manager...

Ashdown Group: Helpdesk Analyst - Devon - £20,000

£18000 - £20000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Helpdesk Analyst - Devon - £20,000 ...

Ashdown Group: Data Scientist - London - £50,000 + bonus

£35000 - £50000 per annum + generous bonus: Ashdown Group: Business Analytics ...

Ashdown Group: IT Project Coordinator (Software Development) - Kingston

£45000 - £50000 per annum: Ashdown Group: IT Project Coordinator (Software Dev...

Day In a Page

General Election 2015: ‘We will not sit down with Nicola Sturgeon’, says Ed Balls

'We will not sit down with Nicola Sturgeon'

In an exclusive interview, Ed Balls says he won't negotiate his first Budget with SNP MPs - even if Labour need their votes to secure its passage
VE Day 70th anniversary: How ordinary Britons celebrated the end of war in Europe

How ordinary Britons celebrated VE Day

Our perception of VE Day usually involves crowds of giddy Britons casting off the shackles of war with gay abandon. The truth was more nuanced
They came in with William Caxton's printing press, but typefaces still matter in the digital age

Typefaces still matter in the digital age

A new typeface once took years to create, now thousands are available at the click of a drop-down menu. So why do most of us still rely on the old classics, asks Meg Carter?
Discovery of 'missing link' between the two main life-forms on Earth could explain evolution of animals, say scientists

'Missing link' between Earth's two life-forms found

New microbial species tells us something about our dark past, say scientists
The Pan Am Experience is a 'flight' back to the 1970s that never takes off - at least, not literally

Pan Am Experience: A 'flight' back to the 70s

Tim Walker checks in and checks out a four-hour journey with a difference
Humans aren't alone in indulging in politics - it's everywhere in the animal world

Humans aren't alone in indulging in politics

Voting, mutual back-scratching, coups and charismatic leaders - it's everywhere in the animal world
Crisp sales are in decline - but this tasty trivia might tempt back the turncoats

Crisp sales are in decline

As a nation we're filling up on popcorn and pitta chips and forsaking their potato-based predecessors
Ronald McDonald the muse? Why Banksy, Ron English and Keith Coventry are lovin' Maccy D's

Ronald McDonald the muse

A new wave of artists is taking inspiration from the fast food chain
13 best picnic blankets

13 best picnic blankets

Dine al fresco without the grass stains and damp bottoms with something from our pick of picnic rugs
Barcelona 3 Bayern Munich 0 player ratings: Lionel Messi scores twice - but does he score highest in our ratings?

Barcelona vs Bayern Munich player ratings

Lionel Messi scores twice - but does he score highest in our ratings?
Martin Guptill: Explosive New Zealand batsman who sets the range for Kiwis' big guns

Explosive batsman who sets the range for Kiwis' big guns

Martin Guptill has smashed early runs for Derbyshire and tells Richard Edwards to expect more from the 'freakish' Brendon McCullum and his buoyant team during their tour of England
General Election 2015: Ed Miliband's unlikely journey from hapless geek to heart-throb

Miliband's unlikely journey from hapless geek to heart-throb

He was meant to be Labour's biggest handicap - but has become almost an asset
General Election 2015: A guide to the smaller parties, from the the National Health Action Party to the Church of the Militant Elvis Party

On the margins

From Militant Elvis to Women's Equality: a guide to the underdogs standing in the election
Amr Darrag: Ex-Muslim Brotherhood minister in exile still believes Egypt's military regime can be replaced with 'moderate' Islamic rule

'This is the battle of young Egypt for the future of our country'

Ex-Muslim Brotherhood minister Amr Darrag still believes the opposition can rid Egypt of its military regime and replace it with 'moderate' Islamic rule, he tells Robert Fisk
Why patients must rely less on doctors: Improving our own health is the 'blockbuster drug of the century'

Why patients must rely less on doctors

Improving our own health is the 'blockbuster drug of the century'