Broadcaster Ray Gosling admits mercy killing of lover

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A freelance BBC writer and broadcaster has admitted smothering his ailing lover in a mercy killing. Ray Gosling, 70, made the admission in a documentary on death and dying broadcast on BBC1 last night.

The Nottingham-based filmmaker said: "I killed someone once ... He'd been my lover and he got Aids. I picked up the pillow and smothered him until he was dead ... I have no regrets. I did the right thing."

Mr Gosling said his former lover was in hospital and had been told by doctors that there was nothing further that could be done for him. "I said to the doctor: 'Leave me ... just for a bit,'" he said on the programme last night. "He went away... The doctor came back and I said, 'He's gone.' Nothing more was ever said.

"When you love someone, it is difficult to see them suffer. My feelings on euthanasia are like jelly – they wobble about. This is the time to share a secret I have kept for quite a long time."

He said he had a pact with the deceased man to act if the pain increased. When asked if he had any regrets Mr Gosling said: "Absolutely none. He was in terrible pain – I was there and I saw it. It breaks you into pieces." He declined to give any further details about his former lover, or where and when the incident occurred. "Some know, some don't. It's best that way. Let it be," he said.

He did say he was aware of the possibility that he might be questioned by police about the issue.

Mr Gosling, a writer and broadcaster, wrote an account of his decision to move into sheltered accommodation in the documentary Ray Gosling OAP.

The programme won the Jonathan Gill most entertaining documentary award at the Grierson 2007 awards.