'Emily's told us to put the champagne on ice for whenever she makes it home'

The British family

They had felt a sense of relief as they sat in their farmhouse in Essex on Wednesday, watching live images of the statue of Saddam Hussein being pulled down. Not only because the war seemed to be heading to a swift conclusion – but also because they had just heard from their daughter for the first time in three weeks.

Emily Hughes, 26, a lieutenant with the Army Air Corps of the 16th Air Assault Brigade, was somewhere in Iraq, but had managed to get through to her parents on the phone.

"I am relieved. It had been quite worrying up until then," says Stephanie. "We'd only had two letters. The first was before it started and the second – which just gave 'Iraq' as her address – said she could hear gunfire. I don't know where she was calling from but she sounded OK. She said a friend had sent her a Fortnum & Mason hamper. Would you believe that? I feel a lot better after that phone call. It came right out of the blue. But I got cut off before I could find out where she was."

Stephanie, 60, and her husband Paddy, 65, a farmer, had the initial comfort of knowing their daughter, a helicopter pilot, was not in the thick of battle at the front line but stationed at headquarters. But then there was a helicopter crash at the beginning of the war, images of soldiers in gas masks, and the first casualties.

"We reached a plateau of anxiety," says Stephanie, who has four children. "We knew she was not flying, but there was still the fear of a chemical attack or a suicide bomber." The headquarters moved into Iraq as the coalition advanced. "On Wednesday she described seeing dead Iraqis, and lots of clothes lying on the side of the road – they were uniforms that had been abandoned."

But Lt Hughes did her best to sound positive, talking about the friendliness of the Iraqi people and the way children crowded around the soldiers because they had pockets full of sweets. "She mentioned one woman in particular, and said she felt awful at not being able to understand what she was saying. So I've bought an Arabic phrase book to send to her.It was the last one in the shop."

Stephanie has not felt alone. "I have a friend whose son is in the 42nd Marine out there and I've been talking to her. She was pleased to have someone to talk to and it has helped me because we understand what each other is going through."

Paddy and Stephanie understand perfectly that you can have doubts about the war but still support the troops. They and one of Emily's brothers were initially against the invasion, which Paddy described as a "bit iffy" before it started. But the troops had to be supported once they were there, he says.

Stephanie's dominant feeling is pride. "I think Emily is coping very well. She's taken a bit of ribbing because of us, her friends saying that we're pacifists. But I really support the troops. I'm glad Saddam's gone but I hope we haven't stirred up too much of a hornet's nest."

Emily doesn't know when she will be back. "She's supposed to be a bridesmaid at her best friend's wedding in July," says her mother. "But she's got the right idea – she has told us to make absolutely sure there's plenty of champagne on ice when she eventually manages to get home."

Lt Hughes was given a non-flying role because she has yet to complete a conversion course to qualify to fly the regiment's Lynx helicopters. Speaking from Al Qurnah in central Iraq yesterday she admitted to being a little jealous of her fellow pilots' experiences in the air. "I suppose people want to go home with stories of derring-do and there's nothing wrong with that. But you don't want to have seen what they have. It's better to be bored than dead."