The Top Ten: Towns everyone has heard of but can't place on a map


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Is Clutton suggested this list 'as a resident of Newcastle-under-Lyme, which always has to be described as being near Stoke-on-Trent; of course the next question is always, "Whereabouts is Stoke-on-Trent?"'

1. Pontefract

Steve Van Riel says people often put his home town in Wales.

2. Mansfield

Market House Books says: "No one really knows where it is. Or Worksop, or Wellingborough. Somewhere in the Midlands."

3. Scarborough

Graham Kirby says, "I have no idea where it is. Am I alone here?" That is a QTWTAIN.

4. Leominster

"Miles from anywhere," says Peter Green.

5. Ashby-de-la-Zouch

Its location baffles Eliot Andersen and Xlibris1.

Highland adventure: Fort William's town centre (Rex)

6. Daventry

I know it used to be pronounced "Daintry", but I don't know where it is.

7. Fort William

Issy Flamel offers a Scottish entry.

8. Uttoxeter

Aaron Bell says: "You need racecourses. Also, Kelso and Wincanton."

9. Grantham

Graham Kirby supplies dialogue from House of Cards, discussing the Margaret Thatcher Memorial. Elizabeth: "Where is Grantham anyway?" Urquhart: "No one seems quite sure."

10. Brentford

Peter Warner complained, "There's a slight touch of 'the wretched provinces' about this theme," so I put this in.

Next week: Songs whose titles are only in the final words (such as 'Up the Junction' by Squeeze)

Coming soon: Books disowned by their authors. Send your suggestions, and ideas for future Top 10s, to