Thursday 29 September 2005
At the family planning stall Cherie Blair showed none of the bashfulness of her youth when she held up a mango-flavoured condom for the cameras. Luckily, the folks at the stall had hidden their collection of dildos before she arrived.
Skinner live and unplanned
Dennis Skinner, the Beast of Bolsover, took the platform by storm with a 25-minute tour de force that wrecked the morning's agenda. He decried the BBC as "the Daily Mail on film", attacked Charles Kennedy as a "school monitor" and declared: "Fight the class war, not the holy war."
Anger boiled over at the New Labour confectionery police yesterday as Eileen Bennett from the union Unison took the podium to complain at her sweeties being confiscated by stewards outside the conference hall. "This is bureaucracy gone mad," she huffed. Debbie Coulter, the conference chairman, came over all old Labour and told her to refer the matter to the conference arrangements committee. Ms Bennett was seen clutching her precious bag of boiled sweeties moments later.
Great Grimsby MP Austin Mitchell's camera was seen as the latest security threat, as he took shots of delegates queuing to pick up their passes. The amateur photographer had his camera confiscated by police after stewards demanded to know what he was doing. When the camera was returned, all the photos were deleted. "This is security gone mad. And what's the point?" an enraged Mr Mitchell said.
Accessory of the day
Men are queuing up to express their politically correct credentials (or are too lazy to get a present for their other halves anywhere else) to buy T-shirts from the Fawcett Society declaring "this is what a feminist looks like". Shame they don't have any in pink, though.
Running the Countryside Alliance stand at a Labour conference is a lonely business. To make matters worse some unwelcome night-time visitors left £2,800 worth of damage after they slashed its display. Simon Hart, its chief executive, complained: "Some people here don't want to hear views other than their own." Later, two women and a man were arrested on suspicion of defacing a Countryside Alliance stand at the conference. The green-welly brigade are looking forward to a warmer welcome from the Tories next week.
Dennis Skinner. A loud standing ovation lasting nearly a minute.
JACK STRAW ** on foreign affairs
HILARY BENN ***
RUTH KELLY ** on education
Debate on local government, the environment and rural affairs.
Closing speech by John Reid.
- 1 Five-year-old Iris Grace is raising awareness of autism through her extraordinary paintings
- 2 Expert urges cat lovers to own just one animal each
- 3 Sainsbury's '50p challenge' poster telling staff to encourage customers to spend more placed in shop window instead of staff room
- 4 Yes, the iPhone 6 is a miracle, but it's Apple's tax affairs that deserve a double take
Isis, we are told, is a 'clear and dangerous threat to our way of life'. I’m sorry, but I just don’t buy it
Exclusive: 'Putin's Russia has been my biggest regret,' says Nato's outgoing Secretary General
The Osborne Ultimatum: Chancellor’s benefits freeze bombshell will affect ten million households
There’s no excuse for Dave Lee Travis’s behaviour, but we need to keep a sense of proportion
Should gay sex be illegal? 16% of Britons think so
Mark Reckless becomes second Tory MP to defect to Ukip in a month
- < Previous
- Next >
Very Competitive Salary: Austen Lloyd: NORTH HAMPSHIRE NQ to MID LEVEL - An e...
Highly Attractive Pakage: Austen Lloyd: MANCHESTER - A highly attractive oppor...
£40000 - £50000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Marketing Manager (Campaigns, Offlin...
£90000 - £135000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Head of Marketing (B2C, Acquisition...