Thursday 29 September 2005
At the family planning stall Cherie Blair showed none of the bashfulness of her youth when she held up a mango-flavoured condom for the cameras. Luckily, the folks at the stall had hidden their collection of dildos before she arrived.
Skinner live and unplanned
Dennis Skinner, the Beast of Bolsover, took the platform by storm with a 25-minute tour de force that wrecked the morning's agenda. He decried the BBC as "the Daily Mail on film", attacked Charles Kennedy as a "school monitor" and declared: "Fight the class war, not the holy war."
Anger boiled over at the New Labour confectionery police yesterday as Eileen Bennett from the union Unison took the podium to complain at her sweeties being confiscated by stewards outside the conference hall. "This is bureaucracy gone mad," she huffed. Debbie Coulter, the conference chairman, came over all old Labour and told her to refer the matter to the conference arrangements committee. Ms Bennett was seen clutching her precious bag of boiled sweeties moments later.
Great Grimsby MP Austin Mitchell's camera was seen as the latest security threat, as he took shots of delegates queuing to pick up their passes. The amateur photographer had his camera confiscated by police after stewards demanded to know what he was doing. When the camera was returned, all the photos were deleted. "This is security gone mad. And what's the point?" an enraged Mr Mitchell said.
Accessory of the day
Men are queuing up to express their politically correct credentials (or are too lazy to get a present for their other halves anywhere else) to buy T-shirts from the Fawcett Society declaring "this is what a feminist looks like". Shame they don't have any in pink, though.
Running the Countryside Alliance stand at a Labour conference is a lonely business. To make matters worse some unwelcome night-time visitors left £2,800 worth of damage after they slashed its display. Simon Hart, its chief executive, complained: "Some people here don't want to hear views other than their own." Later, two women and a man were arrested on suspicion of defacing a Countryside Alliance stand at the conference. The green-welly brigade are looking forward to a warmer welcome from the Tories next week.
Dennis Skinner. A loud standing ovation lasting nearly a minute.
JACK STRAW ** on foreign affairs
HILARY BENN ***
RUTH KELLY ** on education
Debate on local government, the environment and rural affairs.
Closing speech by John Reid.
- 1 Home Office says Nigerian asylum-seeker can’t be a lesbian as she’s got children
- 2 What happens to your body when you give up sugar?
- 3 Japanese island overrun with cats after population explodes
- 4 Apple and Google users being spied on for a decade because of 'Freak' security flaw
- 5 Have sex with your iPad thanks to the new sex toy no-one asked for
The City of the Monkey God: Archaeologists claim to have found city lost for 1,000 years in remote Honduran jungle
Japanese island overrun with cats after population explodes
Delhi bus rapist blames dead victim for attack because 'girls are responsible for rape'
Bubonic plague-carrying fleas found on New York City rats
London property boom built on dirty money
'Jihadi John': CAGE representative storms off Sky News accusing Kay Burley of Islamophobia
Durham Free School: 'Creationism taught at' free school facing closure
Nearly 100,000 of Britain's poorest children go hungry after parents' benefits are cut
Ukip would cut billions from Scottish budget to fund English tax cuts
End of the licence fee: BBC to back radical overhaul of how it is funded
Ukraine crisis: Top Chinese diplomat backs Putin and says West should 'abandon zero-sum mentality'
£14000 - £17000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Sales Ledger & Credit Control...
£16000 - £19000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Project Administrator is requ...
£30000 - £35379 per annum: Recruitment Genius: The company is based in Welwyn ...
£20000 - £22000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an opportunity to join ...