Donald Macintyre's Sketch: Chivalrous David Cameron puts it in the back of the net
Donald Macintyre writes political sketches for The Independent, having been Jerusalem correspondent since 2004, covering Israel and the Occupied Territories, as well as travelling for the paper to Iraq, Turkey, Jordan, Libya and Egypt. As Political Editor and then Chief Political Commentator, he previously covered the John Major and early Tony Blair era. He has written for the Daily Express, Sunday Times, Times and Sunday Telegraph, and Sunday Correspondent. He is the author of Mandelson and the Making of New Labour (2000).
Wednesday 11 June 2014
Since last year’s Cornish holiday snaps, David Cameron’s sunburned form in a state of partial undress has exercised a powerful grip on the popular imagination. So much so that today Labour’s Pamela Nash announced that she “might have nightmares this evening about the Prime Minister modelling Speedos on his world tour”.
The Prime Minister had told the Tory Mike Freer, in whose constituency the tight-fitting briefs are made, that “we were pushing Speedos as hard as we could” on his recent trade-boosting trip to China. Still, he begged to “reassure the honourable Lady that Speedo makes shorts as well as Speedos, so I hope I can clear that picture out of her mind”.
Cameron could be chivalrous since it was largely his day, thanks to the unemployment figures, the arrival of Tory Newark victor Robert Jenrick and, amid some early-onset World Cup mania, Labour’s Mike Kane unwittingly playing straight man by suggesting Cameron ask Roy Hodgson “for some tips on discipline” after the May-Gove shoot-out.
Cameron backed both miscreants, declaring: “If you have a strong team… stick with them, and keep on putting it in the back of the net.” It would be nice to think this will be the last creaky Prime Ministerial football metaphor for a while. But hopelessly unrealistic.
Ed Miliband could have said inflation was rising faster than wages. But then he would have had to provoke Tory backbench jeers by first welcoming the jobless figures. So for Labour – today at least – it was a case of “it’s not the economy, stupid”.
- 1 Tamir Rice: 12-year-old boy playing with fake gun dies after being shot by police in Ohio park
- 2 To help fuel their propaganda machine against the poor, our government has now decided to redefine the word 'welfare'
- 3 Naked free runner captured in breathtaking photographs above London's streets
- 4 Woman opens professional cuddling shop – gets 10,000 customers in first week
- 5 Manchester United named Premier League's loudest fans despite late push by Chelsea according to 'Smart Meter' app
Tamir Rice: 12-year-old boy playing with fake gun dies after being shot by police in Ohio park
Heroin to be prescribed to Canadian addicts by doctors
Audacious North Korean kidnap plot foiled at Paris airport as 'Asian men' attempted to bundle student onto plane
Tower Bridge glass walkway 'smashed' by night-time visitor dropping bottle of beer
Revealed: the case against Bill Cosby – through the stories of his accusers
Rochester by-election: Ukip gains second MP as Tory defector Mark Reckless holds seat
'Beast of Bolsover' Dennis Skinner takes Ukip MP Mark Reckless to task moments after he is sworn in
Rochester by-election: Labour MP Emily Thornberry resigns after posting white van and England flags tweet
The young are the new poor: Sharp increase in number of under-25s living in poverty, while over-65s are better off than ever
France 'blocks' Russian sailors from boarding a warship
Green Party Caroline Lucas interview: 'We could be on the edge of something very big'
£30000 - £60000 per annum + Excellent: Austen Lloyd: Employment Solicitor - Ke...
Negotiable: Argyll Scott International: Hi All, I'm currently recruiting for t...
Highly Competitive Salary: Austen Lloyd: HAMPSHIRE MARKET TOWN - A highly attr...
£23000 - £30000 per annum + pension, 25days holiday: Ashdown Group: An industr...