Pundemonium! Energy Secretary Ed Davey delivers cringe-inducing gag-filled speech to Lib Dem conference
He concluded the speech, in which he referred to himself as "fracking responsible", by extending an open hand to Labour on climate policy
Energy Secretary Ed Davey today took his position in an illustrious club - politicians who can't tell jokes.
Speaking to the Lib Dem party conference in Glasgow today, Mr Davey delivered a series of flat one-liners and tired puns which were met with groans and feeble laughter.
Employing possibly the most over-used double entendre of recent years, Davey said he was "fracking responsible" for putting an end to the "hyperbole" surrounding controversial shale gas exploration.
Perhaps trying to invoke the disarming charm of Boris Johnson's naff gags, he went on.
"Liberal Democrats, our fights to green this Government haven't just faced opposition from the badgering of Owen Paterson or the pickling of Eric. No. We have had to face the ultimate test - the charm of Michael Gove. Mr Gove and his draft curriculum for geography. Strong on European continental drift. Weak on climate change."
The only laughs of the day came when Mr Davey joked that the Conservative Party had been "lovebombing UKIP". Spinning the jibe a literary angle, he suggested that Tory backbenchers were guilty of "fantasising" about with Nigel Farage, adding: "They long to be Sancho Panza, to the UKIP Don Quixote."
This tickled the fancy of the more high-minded delegates, who 'got' the reference to Panza, a peasant who followed Don Quixote around devotedly. Before exiting the stage, he steered the speech into more serious territory, making an offer to the Labour Party leader Ed Miliband to join the Liberal Democrats in the fight against climate change.
He said: "Given his track record, surely he would want to improve Labour's act on climate change? So today I'm giving him the chance."
Addressing Mr Miliband directly, he said: "Ed, I'm inviting you to share in my advanced planning and strategy for the critical global conference on climate change in December 2015 - that's after the next election. For the next Government - whichever parties are in it - will need to hit the ground running to fight for the greenest deal for the planet."
- 2 Oil tanker with $100 million cargo goes missing off Texas coast
- 4 Lady al-Qa’ida: On the trail of Dr Aafia Siddiqui, the world’s most wanted prisoner
- 5 A teacher speaks out: 'I'm effectively being forced out of a career that I wanted to love'
Robin Williams Emmys tribute led by Billy Crystal criticised for including 'racist' joke about Muslim woman
The Rotherham child abuse scandal is a tale of apologists, misogyny and double standards
What do immigrants really think of Britain? Polish immigrant's Reddit post goes viral
Scottish independence TV debate: Pumped-up Alex Salmond bounces back in bruising second round against Alistair Darling
Do you realise just how foolish the UK looks?
With Douglas Carswell joining Ukip, my party has taken another giant step forward
- < Previous
- Next >
£60000 - £70000 per annum + Benefits + Bonus: Harrington Starr: Senior Data Sc...
Highly Attractive Salary: Austen Lloyd: BRISTOL - This is a very unusual law c...
£28000 - £30000 per annum + Benefits + Bonus: Harrington Starr: Junior VB.NET ...
£40000 - £50000 per annum + Benefits + Bonus: Harrington Starr: C# .NET Web De...