Yogic flyers offer to take Hague on a higher plane

William Hague needed this like he needed a hole in his transcendental consciousness. Just as the Conservative Party leader was starting to work up some gravitas, it was revealed yesterday that up to 3,000 yogic flyers have formed an airborne back-up squad for him.

Something akin to formation flying takes place each month during special monthly "coherence days", and Mr Hague, who is a regular practitioner of transcendental meditation, is to be among their chief beneficiaries.

The Tory leader has already gained maturity, confidence, energy and a rare ability to survive on just a few hours sleep from his ability to tap into "the silent reservoir of creativity at the base of his thinking process", according to the Natural Law Party.

With the help of his own political flying squad he and his fellow politicians can now reach an even higher level of consciousness.

Yogic flyers around the country who get together on a regular basis to practise their art and to create a special energy are offering up their powers to Mr Hague for the good of the Tory party and for politics in general. Already they have cut crime and brought numerous other benefits to Britain, they say, but in future a new sense of harmony could pervade the land.

The followers of the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi have been in touch with Mr Hague since he invited them to speak at an Oxford Union debate during his spell as president. In fact, it seems that even the famous conference speech he delivered under the approving eye of Margaret Thatcher in 1977 may have been delivered while under the influence of "TM." The young Hague took up the pursuit at the tender age of 16.

Dr Geoffrey Clements, leader of the Natural Law Party, is in no doubt about the cause of young William's success. "He has built up his personality on the basis of natural law. From the age of 16 he has given importance to unfolding his inner potential.

"We wish him all success in elevating the performance of British politics and government to bring fulfilment to the nation and integration and peace in the world."

But although Mr Hague is clearly the Maharishi's man in British politics, natural law is a generous thing. Even Tony Blair's new Labour can benefit too, because its principles will lead to conflict-free politics for all.

The generosity of the NLP knows no bounds. For just a small fee, the Government could reap extra rewards from its special flying days. "Our intention will be to build them up and to offer to the Government that they could sponsor that programme for the benefit of national life," Dr Clements said.

If Mr Hague fears all this levity will detract from his image as a well- grounded politician, he is hiding his worries well. He is apparently happy to talk about the joys of meditation endlessly, if prompted.

Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
ebooksA special investigation by Andy McSmith
  • Get to the point
2015 General Election

Poll of Polls

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Project Implementation Executive

£18000 - £23000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: They work with major vehicle ma...

Recruitment Genius: Chiropractic Assistant

£16500 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Chiropractic Assistant is needed in a ...

Recruitment Genius: Digital Account Executive - Midlands

£18000 - £26000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: They work with major vehicle ma...

Recruitment Genius: Web Developer

£28000 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This company provides coaching ...

Day In a Page

NHS struggling to monitor the safety and efficacy of its services outsourced to private providers

Who's monitoring the outsourced NHS services?

A report finds that private firms are not being properly assessed for their quality of care
Zac Goldsmith: 'I'll trigger a by-election over Heathrow'

Zac Goldsmith: 'I'll trigger a by-election over Heathrow'

The Tory MP said he did not want to stand again unless his party's manifesto ruled out a third runway. But he's doing so. Watch this space
How do Greek voters feel about Syriza's backtracking on its anti-austerity pledge?

How do Greeks feel about Syriza?

Five voters from different backgrounds tell us what they expect from Syriza's charismatic leader Alexis Tsipras
From Iraq to Libya and Syria: The wars that come back to haunt us

The wars that come back to haunt us

David Cameron should not escape blame for his role in conflicts that are still raging, argues Patrick Cockburn
Sam Baker and Lauren Laverne: Too busy to surf? Head to The Pool

Too busy to surf? Head to The Pool

A new website is trying to declutter the internet to help busy women. Holly Williams meets the founders
Heston Blumenthal to cook up a spice odyssey for British astronaut manning the International Space Station

UK's Major Tum to blast off on a spice odyssey

Nothing but the best for British astronaut as chef Heston Blumenthal cooks up his rations
John Harrison's 'longitude' clock sets new record - 300 years on

‘Longitude’ clock sets new record - 300 years on

Greenwich horologists celebrate as it keeps to within a second of real time over a 100-day test
Fears in the US of being outgunned in the vital propaganda wars by Russia, China - and even Isis - have prompted a rethink on overseas broadcasters

Let the propaganda wars begin - again

'Accurate, objective, comprehensive': that was Voice of America's creed, but now its masters want it to promote US policy, reports Rupert Cornwell
Why Japan's incredible long-distance runners will never win the London Marathon

Japan's incredible long-distance runners

Every year, Japanese long-distance runners post some of the world's fastest times – yet, come next weekend, not a single elite competitor from the country will be at the London Marathon
Why does Tom Drury remain the greatest writer you've never heard of?

Tom Drury: The quiet American

His debut was considered one of the finest novels of the past 50 years, and he is every bit the equal of his contemporaries, Jonathan Franzen, Dave Eggers and David Foster Wallace
You should judge a person by how they peel a potato

You should judge a person by how they peel a potato

Dave Hax's domestic tips are reminiscent of George Orwell's tea routine. The world might need revolution, but we like to sweat the small stuff, says DJ Taylor
Beige is back: The drab car colours of the 1970s are proving popular again

Beige to the future

Flares and flounce are back on catwalks but a revival in ’70s car paintjobs was a stack-heeled step too far – until now
Bill Granger recipes: Our chef's dishes highlight the delicate essence of fresh cheeses

Bill Granger cooks with fresh cheeses

More delicate on the palate, milder, fresh cheeses can also be kinder to the waistline
Aston Villa vs Liverpool: 'This FA Cup run has been wonderful,' says veteran Shay Given

Shay Given: 'This FA Cup run has been wonderful'

The Villa keeper has been overlooked for a long time and has unhappy memories of the national stadium – but he is savouring his chance to play at Wembley
Timeless drama of Championship race in league of its own - Michael Calvin

Michael Calvin's Last Word

Timeless drama of Championship race in league of its own