Yogic flyers offer to take Hague on a higher plane

William Hague needed this like he needed a hole in his transcendental consciousness. Just as the Conservative Party leader was starting to work up some gravitas, it was revealed yesterday that up to 3,000 yogic flyers have formed an airborne back-up squad for him.

Something akin to formation flying takes place each month during special monthly "coherence days", and Mr Hague, who is a regular practitioner of transcendental meditation, is to be among their chief beneficiaries.

The Tory leader has already gained maturity, confidence, energy and a rare ability to survive on just a few hours sleep from his ability to tap into "the silent reservoir of creativity at the base of his thinking process", according to the Natural Law Party.

With the help of his own political flying squad he and his fellow politicians can now reach an even higher level of consciousness.

Yogic flyers around the country who get together on a regular basis to practise their art and to create a special energy are offering up their powers to Mr Hague for the good of the Tory party and for politics in general. Already they have cut crime and brought numerous other benefits to Britain, they say, but in future a new sense of harmony could pervade the land.

The followers of the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi have been in touch with Mr Hague since he invited them to speak at an Oxford Union debate during his spell as president. In fact, it seems that even the famous conference speech he delivered under the approving eye of Margaret Thatcher in 1977 may have been delivered while under the influence of "TM." The young Hague took up the pursuit at the tender age of 16.

Dr Geoffrey Clements, leader of the Natural Law Party, is in no doubt about the cause of young William's success. "He has built up his personality on the basis of natural law. From the age of 16 he has given importance to unfolding his inner potential.

"We wish him all success in elevating the performance of British politics and government to bring fulfilment to the nation and integration and peace in the world."

But although Mr Hague is clearly the Maharishi's man in British politics, natural law is a generous thing. Even Tony Blair's new Labour can benefit too, because its principles will lead to conflict-free politics for all.

The generosity of the NLP knows no bounds. For just a small fee, the Government could reap extra rewards from its special flying days. "Our intention will be to build them up and to offer to the Government that they could sponsor that programme for the benefit of national life," Dr Clements said.

If Mr Hague fears all this levity will detract from his image as a well- grounded politician, he is hiding his worries well. He is apparently happy to talk about the joys of meditation endlessly, if prompted.

Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Sales Administrator - Spanish Speaking

£17000 - £21000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is a fantastic opportunity...

Recruitment Genius: Sales Administrator - German Speaking

£17000 - £23000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is a fantastic opportunity...

Recruitment Genius: Sales Administrator - Japanese Speaking

£17000 - £23000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: If you are fluent in Japanese a...

Recruitment Genius: Graphic Designer - Immediate Start

£16000 - £25000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is a fantastic opportunity...

Day In a Page

Is this the future of flying: battery-powered planes made of plastic, and without flight decks?

Is this the future of flying?

Battery-powered planes made of plastic, and without flight decks
Isis are barbarians – but the Caliphate is a dream at the heart of all Muslim traditions

Isis are barbarians

but the Caliphate is an ancient Muslim ideal
The Brink's-Mat curse strikes again: three tons of stolen gold that brought only grief

Curse of Brink's Mat strikes again

Death of John 'Goldfinger' Palmer the latest killing related to 1983 heist
Greece debt crisis: 'The ministers talk to us about miracles' – why Greeks are cynical ahead of the bailout referendum

'The ministers talk to us about miracles'

Why Greeks are cynical ahead of the bailout referendum
Call of the wild: How science is learning to decode the way animals communicate

Call of the wild

How science is learning to decode the way animals communicate
Greece debt crisis: What happened to democracy when it’s a case of 'Vote Yes or else'?

'The economic collapse has happened. What is at risk now is democracy...'

If it doesn’t work in Europe, how is it supposed to work in India or the Middle East, asks Robert Fisk
The science of swearing: What lies behind the use of four-letter words?

The science of swearing

What lies behind the use of four-letter words?
The Real Stories of Migrant Britain: Clive fled from Zimbabwe - now it won't have him back

The Real Stories of Migrant Britain

Clive fled from Zimbabwe - now it won’t have him back
Africa on the menu: Three foodie friends want to popularise dishes from the continent

Africa on the menu

Three foodie friends want to popularise dishes from the hot new continent
Donna Karan is stepping down after 30 years - so who will fill the DKNY creator's boots?

Who will fill Donna Karan's boots?

The designer is stepping down as Chief Designer of DKNY after 30 years. Alexander Fury looks back at the career of 'America's Chanel'
10 best statement lightbulbs

10 best statement lightbulbs

Dare to bare with some out-of-the-ordinary illumination
Wimbledon 2015: Heather Watson - 'I had Serena's poster on my wall – now I'm playing her'

Heather Watson: 'I had Serena's poster on my wall – now I'm playing her'

Briton pumped up for dream meeting with world No 1
Wimbledon 2015: Nick Bollettieri - It's time for big John Isner to produce the goods to go with his thumping serve

Nick Bollettieri's Wimbledon Files

It's time for big John Isner to produce the goods to go with his thumping serve
Dustin Brown: Who is the tennis player who knocked Rafael Nadal out of Wimbeldon 2015?

Dustin Brown

Who is the German player that knocked Nadal out of Wimbeldon 2015?
Ashes 2015: Damien Martyn - 'England are fired up again, just like in 2005...'

Damien Martyn: 'England are fired up again, just like in 2005...'

Australian veteran of that Ashes series, believes the hosts' may become unstoppable if they win the first Test