29 ways to win back your lover

Speak to a newspaper

When a couple have had as many rough patches as Pete Doherty and Kate Moss, it can be hard to find new ways of resurrecting it. Moss has tried to give the recovering heroin addict the elbow several times in the past few years, not least when their drug-taking was plastered across the front page of the Daily Mirror in 2005.

But Doherty seemed prepared to put the couple's unhappy history with the newspaper aside yesterday by selecting it as the place to lay bare his feelings for her, in the hope of winning her back.

Not all of Doherty's prose may delight Moss (he describes her as a " nasty old rag" who "kicked me in the head"), but since she reads the paper, he believes his appeal through its pages might work. " Take me back. Kate if you love me then realise I don't want any other girl. I'm here to tell her that I love her," the Babyshambles frontman said. "We fell out for the same old reason. She accused me of fucking this girl who lives around the corner. She's got an awful temper. I grabbed my guitar and books and said, 'I'm never going to be treated this way again'."

Ms Moss is reported to have called in removal men to get rid of all of his possessions and has changed her locks, though the musician says she called him in a drunken state recently singing the Breakfast at Tiffany's classic "Moon River".

Sing sad songs

A distraught Orpheus tried this strategy in the Greek myth after the death of his wife, Eurydice, who unfortunately stumbled into a nest of snakes which bit her fatally on the legs. So mournful were the songs that the nymphs and gods of the underworld wept and, on their advice, Orpheus was encouraged to travel to the underworld to secure his wife's return. The one stipulation was that he should walk in front of her and not look back until he had reached the upper world. In his anxiety, Orpheus broke his promise, and Eurydice vanished again from his sight. He surely deserved better.

Say you've been kidnapped

It sounds like a long shot but Yorkshire fisherman Robin Beevers sent his girlfriend, Ellen Wardle, a series of text messages claiming to be from "three men in a van" who had abducted him. Police spent £1,500 and took 120 hours to investigate before finding him out and Beevers was ordered to repay the same sum of money. Incredibly, the strategy worked. Beevers, 39, and Ms Wardle, 24, have since had a baby

Make a scene

It's called the Lady Caroline Lamb method. She stormed into a dinner party being held by the Duke of Wellington and made a scene over Lord Byron, whom she badly wanted back - but he was having none of it. So she then cut off her pubic hairs and sent them to Byron in a letter. This might have contributed to the irreversible break-up in their relationship, so perhaps not advisable.

Go to your celebrity friends for advice

Orlando Bloom, star of Pirates Of The Caribbean, could think of none but Brad Pitt, who had just split from Jennifer Aniston at the time, to turn to when things went wrong with actress Kate Bosworth (Superman Returns). Keep it simple, Pitt told him. Take her somewhere modest and don't spend too much money.

Ignore your friends' advice

So much for your friends' advice. Bloom simply decided to invest £60,000 on a diamond ring which he hoped would reunite him with Bosworth. The pair had split after Bloom had been spotted with Sienna Miller and old flame Kirsten Dunst but the strategy worked and Bosworth was smitten again. "I love my partner more than my career," she said.

Dance in a bar

There's apparently a theory that you can tell how good someone will be in bed by their dancing. The slicker the syncopation, the better the sex - so the logic runs. That was part of supermodel Gisele Bundchen's strategy when she tried out a dance on her ex, Leonardo DiCaprio, with some red-hot moves at a New York bar. It brought them back together.

Do a dance at a concert you've organised

Prince William's courtship of Kate Middleton included some fine dancing on the night of last month's Concert for Diana. The rest of the world may have cringed, but it secured him a romantic meal. Result!

Walk in a field and speak eloquently

Just when it seemed they might find the spark, they didn't. But Jane Austen's Darcy finally makes up for misdemeanours in a scene best known to many by various TV adaptations of Pride and Prejudice. "You have bewitched me body and soul", Darcy tells Elizabeth. "I love, I love, I love you, and I never wish to be parted from you from this day forward." Hard to better.

Get help from your granny

As Alfie Moon in EastEnders, Shane Richie had a relationship with the sister of his girlfriend Kat Slater, played by Jessie Wallace. It was Kat's relationship with Alfie's grandmother Victoria which did the trick in the end. So overcome was Alfie by her death that Kat headed off into the sunset with him in a Ford Capri.

Strip naked

Dave's wife suspects him of infidelity as their relationship flags and has the bags packed and in the hall towards the end of Peter Cattaneo's 1997 film The Full Monty. But then Dave reveals that he's been rehearsing a strip routine but, with his self confidence at rock bottom, can't go through with it. Why?, asks his wife. "Well, who wants to see this dance?" he asks, peering at himself. Her reply: "Me Dave... I do," rarely fails to raise a sniff.

Stand on his doorstep in the pouring rain

Needless to say, they felt it in their fingers, they felt it in their toes. Love was all around when Carrie (Andie MacDowell) arrived, soaked through, on Charles' (Hugh Grant) doorstep at the end of Four Weddings and a Funeral. The ensuing final kiss, above, sealed their reunion and sparked a generation of Richard Curtis-scripted romantic comedies.

Kidnap your husband

Alexis Colby in the cult 1980s US series Dynasty nabbed her ex-husband Blake Carrington when he lost his memory and held him for months pretending they were still married. Over on Dallas, Pam was reunited with Bobby by explaining away his death as "all a dream".

Patch things up yourselves

Zoe Ball seemed blissfully happy with her husband Norman Cook until 2003, when it was revealed that their marriage was on the rocks after Ms Ball admitted having an affair with a little-known club DJ called Dan Peppe. There was a brief separation but the couple managed to sort things out behind closed doors

Be jealous

It all went wrong for Oliver Martinez, one-time solid partner of Kylie Minogue, when he was forced to quash rumours that he was showing actress Michelle Rodriguez and Israeli model Sarai Givati the sights of Paris. When he realised his mistake he opted for honesty, admitting he was jealous of Minogue going on holiday with film director Alexander Dahm. They've since been seen dining and cuddling.

Suffer a health scare

Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor were masters at making up. Burton's marriages included two consecutive ones to Taylor (March 1964 -June 1974 and October 1975-July 1976). Their second marriage came after an X-ray revealed spots on her lungs which she feared were cancerous. Taylor said the 12 hours of anxiety waiting for the prognosis (which turned out to be clear) convinced her to remarry. Burton evidently felt the same. But the marriage didn't last long.

Drive her to her new boyfriend's place

Richard Nixon is not everyone's idea of a great romancer but he was so determined to win back one girlfriend that he drove her to her dates with his love rivals picked her up later. Complex strategy; inconclusive results

Get drunk and go to a chapel

Well, that's what Ross and Rachel did in Friends, at the end of series five. It didn't actually work, of course. At the start of the next series, they realised their mistake and got an annulment, though it all came good in the end.

Enter the Gumball Rally

Not for the faint-hearted romeo, but it was the only option for Tarquin Southwell, polo-playing ex-boyfriend of model Jodie Kidd after their volatile five-year relationship hit the rocks. He entered the rally because she had, though despite their high-speed proximity, the affair was ultimately doomed. A family friend said: "We are relieved it's over. Frankly, none of us liked Tarquin, and want Jodie to start afresh."

Dress as a prison warder

In Beethoven's only opera, "Fidelio", Florestan and his wife Leonara are separated when he is unjustly thrown into prison. She disguises herself as a gaelor, Fidelio, and sets him free for their reunion.

Fend off all other admirers

During her 20-year wait for the return of her husband, Odysseus, Penelope, above, kept admirers at bay by refusing them until she had completed a burial shroud, which she never did. On his return, Odysseus, dressed as an old beggar, saw her faithful qualities.

Love potions for the eyes

They work in the end for Lysander and Hermia in A Midsummer Night's Dream - a play which also shows the dangers of applying them to the wrong eyes

Change your secretary

Appeared to keep John Prescott's marriage to wife Pauline intact after his affair with Tracey Temple, his diary secretary. "We were both busy with our jobs, but we sometimes managed to squeeze in sex," Ms Temple had revealed.

Go to rehab

Pete Doherty's probably heard these three words often enough but it's evidently worked for Keith Urban, the musician who admitted this week that his marriage to Nicole Kidman was collapsing. He sought treatment last year for alcoholism and checked into the Betty Ford Center. Marital relations are evidently on the up.

Stand stark naked with a red rose between your buttocks

It has to go down as TV's most memorable effort at winning back a girl. In ITV's Cold Feet Adam (James Nesbitt) won over Rachel (Helen Baxendale) with this spectacular proposal of marriage, accompanied by his memorable rendition of I've Got You Under My Skin. Deservedly, the scene won a Golden Rose of Montreux award.

Pretend you're James Nesbitt

That's what lovelorn financial manager Ray Purvis did when his marriage wasn't working. His re-enactment of the rose scene was arguably even bolder: he took his clothes off and walked down the street clutching two bouquets of red roses with a flower clenched between the buttocks. The gesture worked. Mr Purvis' wife Louise agreed to lunch, so they could work things out.

Promise to have children

After a string of affairs with such delectable women as Ulrika Jonsson and Faria Alam, Sven Goran Eriksson had his work cut out to win back Nancy Dell'Olio. The promise of marriage and kids seemed to do the trick, with Nancy saying a boy and girl would be ideal. An engagement ring also helped. As yet, no sign of a little Sven.

Have children

After several years of a relationship which seemed on and off, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, who starred together in Mr & Mrs Smith, opted for another joint production to make their relationship more stable. Now the couple are moving to Germany to be out of the limelight.

Announce you're thinking about adopting on your own

Jennifer Aniston told thirtysomething Vince Vaughn to grow up when he said they could have nothing more than a casual relationship. She then mused publicly over the idea of adoption. Vaughn was said to be glum and regretful about calling it quits on Aniston and the couple were soon back together. But this strategy seems to have limitations: it was revealed only yesterday that Aniston and Vaughn are to split once more.

Additional reporting by Alyssa Morrisey and Ruth Charlton