A holy moment of reflection, if you'll allow. Let us consider the origins of Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and today, Resurrection Sunday. Let us meditate on events marked by this central feast in the liturgical calendar. Let us punctuate this holy weekend with the appropriate sense of prayer before we pepper our piousness with an egg hunt to sprinkle some fun on proceedings.
Sod that, bruv. We're up for the big one. It's gonna be bangin'. Large. Four days of gettin' smash up at the mash-up. Jokes, innit? LOL. OMG. ETC.
There is, Being Modern is somewhat sad to report, a divide in our great nation. For while many of us will have spent this weekend in the traditional way (sitting in traffic, eating too many chocolate eggs, watching Doctor Who and Britain's Got Talent), there is an element in our society that sees the long weekend as nothing more than an excuse to get, like, totes out of their tree with enough time to recover before heading back into the real world.
The alternative Easter weekend – the Easter weekender bender – has been growing in popularity since the rave culture of the late 1980s, when it quickly became apparent that the only downside to the scene's drugs of choice were their downside – miserable lows that could be alleviated only by a day in bed or going out and doing it all over again.
And so began the hop from club to after-party to before-party that characterises the Easter weekend for many. In London, the listings magazine Time Out offers about 200 options. These range from Disco Bloodbath's Easter Ball ("spaced-out Italo oddities, raw analogue house, cosmic nuggets") to Bugged Out! and Durrr Present Erol Alkan ("an Easter institution that keeps getting more insane with every year").
No one wants to poop on anyone's party, but have these people never seen They Shoot Horses, Don't They? Dancing to music is fun, sure, but it's no way to spend a four-day weekend. Though if you're still up for it, there's a "rockin' electro-indie racket" at Being Modern's local clubbing emporium, Koko, tonight. Cocoa – now you're talking.