Extreme costume dramas: The faux pas of fancy dress

What is it about the thought of fancy dress that makes rational, intelligent people lose their heads, like small children made excitable by too many cups of orange squash? "Huzzah!" thinks the prince. "A fancy dress party! I simply must go as a Nazi."

"A terrorist attack?" muses the comedian, "Well, obviously I now have to go to work tomorrow clad in the robes of the world's most-wanted terrorist. They'll lap that up."

This week, on the seventh anniversary of 11 September, anti-terror police officer Colin Terry, of the Devon and Cornwall force, decided it would be a clever idea to dress up as Osama bin Laden for a village carnival. Why anyone, let alone the local counter-terrorism copper, would go to a village carnival dressed as a terrorist mastermind is a mystery. But Terry was as bemused as his critics. "I am quite horrified someone would see this negatively," he said when confronted about the costume. He had chosen the get-up – which was, by the way, an uncanny resemblance – because it "tied in" with his work.

Public figures are frequently unfortunate in their choice of fancy dress. Who can forget those paparrazzi shots of Lord Black and his wife Barbara Amiel, done up to the nines as a cardinal and an aristocrat for Freddie Windsor's birthday party? They looked as hubristic as their 18th-century French forebears, and utterly unaware of the guillotine that dangled above them. When Black was subsequently convicted of fraud, these, inevitably, were the pictures that so many newspapers took glee in printing alongside the trial coverage. And dressing up can get regular civilians into trouble, too. A few days ago, an office party at a call centre in Southend was broken up by gun-toting police, who thought the cops-and-robbers-themed event was an armed siege.

In an effort to curb the enthusiastic excesses of certain fancy-dressing celebs – and to reassure any regular readers reluctant to throw on garish outfits of an evening – here are a number of handy dressing-up tips:

DO

Make an effort

Either turn up in fancy dress, or don't turn up at all. There's nothing worse than being the one killjoy in the room who couldn't be bothered. There you are in jeans and a T-shirt, clutching a plastic cup of punch and trying to make sensible conversation with the girl in the Catwoman leotard. It's embarrassing for everybody.

Don't worry if you can't think of anything original; sometimes the old ones are the best. Look at Anne Hathaway dressed as Cleopatra for Heidi Klum's Halloween bash in 2004. It's the oldest costume in the store, but who cares? She's smokin'! And then there's Al Gore and wife Tipper – hardly noted for their sense of humour – who attended their 1998 Halloween party dressed as mummies, covered head-to-toe in bandages. It's funny – because it's Al Gore.

DON'T

Put in too much effort

Nobody likes a show-off, and having an over-egged costume that impairs your enjoyment of a the party is just a pain. Here are Elton John and David Furnish dressed up to the nines in a very scary pair of enormous wigs. Chaps, looking festive is one thing, but those high rise hair pieces have got to be something of a fire risk. A towering inferno is the ultimate in party poopers.

DO

Host 'bad taste' parties. They're hilarious

Everybody loves to be a bit edgy, and a good bad-taste party invites people to stretch the bounds of decency in ways that can be liberating. But unless you have a very broad-minded circle of friends, it's best to avoid the obvious (Nazis, terrorists and/or armed criminals).

A healthy variation on the bad taste party is the panto party, like the one that Matt Lucas and Kevin McGee had for the reception after they got hitched in their civil partnership ceremony. Reports suggested that a ball was had by all.

DON'T

Go to 'bad taste' parties if you're a public figure

Harry, Harry, Harry. Couldn't you have read "bad taste" on the invitation and thought, "Great, I'll wear flares and a bright purple silk shirt" or something?

DO

Cross-dress

Blokes in skirts – it never gets old. Even football managers love to squeeze into a tutu now and then. Just ask Fabio Capello, who has been known to wear a fetching little orange number. And look at the fun being had by Seal, who turned up wearing a dress and a blonde wig (as Eve in the Garden of Eden) for a Halloween party thrown by his wife Heidi Klum (yes, she's the snake – and the apple).

DON'T

Cross-dress as Madonna

Thanks must go to Alan Carr for highlighting this point, by dressing up in shiny blue leggings, pink frilly blouse and wig for Mark Ronson's 33rd birthday party last week. Mistake.

DO

Wear clothes

Being naked doesn't count as fancy dress, and being half-naked isn't ideal either. Mariah Carey might have the body to get away with the "slutty bride" look, but for us mere mortals, parties with themes like "pimps and prostitutes" or "tarts and vicars" are always, al-ways inadvisable.

DON'T

Wear one of those Osama bin Laden costumes

As Colin Terry found out – as if he actually needed telling – dressing up as Bin Laden doesn't win you any friends. Terry is now the subject of an IPCC probe. Russell Brand was fired from MTV shortly after turning up dressed as Osama to present his show on 12 September 2001. And comedian Aaron Barschak gatecrashed Prince William's 21st birthday party dressed as the Al-Qa'ida leader. Although this ended up generating reams of publicity for his Edinburgh show in the process, unfortunately, like his fancy dress ruse, his stand-up also turned out to be neither funny, nor clever.