It was an everyday tale of boy meets girl in the Liverpool suburb of Croxteth. Her dad helped his Uncle Richie teach boxing. His mates were friends with her mates. They kissed in an alleyway behind the local church. Finally, on Valentine's Day last year, he phoned her dad and asked if they were allowed to stay out all night.
But that was before Wayne Rooney became "the new Pele", the youngest footballer ever to score for England, the boy genius of Manchester United worth £50,000 a week. He's on the front of every tabloid. She'll soon be on the cover of Vogue. Gary Lineker says he's "potentially the greatest England forward ever". The Daily Mail says she's "a scheming, manipulative, extravagant shopaholic". Their "friends" are always feedingthe papers titbits, such as last week's claims that he hit her in a Cheshire nightclub.
So is this a love story for our age, or do they represent the worst of us? Are Wayne and Coleen our Romeo and Juliet or merelyShameless? You can't know unless you know them: try our quiz, then make up your own mind.
1 How did Wayne first get Coleen's attention?
a) By fixing her bicycle chain and asking to borrow her Grease video
b) By buying her a Porsche and asking her what size she took in Gucci
c) By becoming the youngest player ever to score for England
2 How did Wayne look after his beloved Nan?
a) By salt-and-peppering her tea
b) By kicking footballs against her wall until the pebbledash dropped off
c) By doing her shopping at Kwik Save
3 What was Wayne's nickname at Everton?
a) The Cat
b) The Dog
c) The Pig
4 How and where did Wayne propose to Coleen?
a) On one knee, with a bottle of Cristal and a diamond ring
b) On the forecourt of a BP petrol station on the way out for a Chinese
c) On a bender in Croxteth, with the ringpull from a can of Stella
5 How did Wayne and Coleen celebrate their engagement, at 17?
a) Bought a local nightclub and used it to throw a party for all their friends
b) Had an enormous row and didn't speak for a week
c) Rang Coleen's mum, told her to get the dinner on and went there to watch EastEnders
6 What did Wayne say about his visits to prostitutes, including one known locally as the Auld Slapper?
a) "I just hope people will understand that it was the sort of mistake you make when you are young and stupid"
b) "I just hope people understand that it was dark, I was drunk and I didn't have my contact lenses in"
c) "I just hope Coleen understands Andrea Dworkin: 'The argument between wives and whores is an old one; each one thinking that whatever she is, at least she is not the other'"
7 What three words has Wayne used to describe himself?
a) Short, fat and ugly
b) Conscientious, compassionate and idiosyncratic.
c) Funny, romantic and hard
8 Coleen and friends reportedly fought 10 women in a Tenerife bar last month. What started it, according to witnesses?
a) The Spanish girls were hitting them over the heads with plastic bottles of water
b) They had downed a dozen large vodka cocktails each
c) Coleen was shouting, "England! England!" and waving a football shirt
9 What did Alexandra Schulman, editor of UK Vogue, think when she saw Coleen for the first time, at a London restaurant in March?
a) She was struck by Coleen's style and beauty
b) She was struck by the loud and hysterical laughing at Coleen's table
c) She was struck by the high-heeled shoe that Coleen had just thrown at Wayne
10 Where has Coleen just been for her first big fashion shoot as a model?
a) Cyprus, to a sandy beach
b) Old Trafford, where Wayne plays for Manchester United
c) Croxteth, to the alleyway behind the church where they first kissed
11 Wayne was alleged to have lashed out at Coleen in a Cheshire nightclub last weekend. Who said: "They are young and are bound to have the odd fight. Wayne didn't hit her, as far as I know."
a) Wayne's lawyer
b) Wayne's bodyguard
c) Wayne's prospective father-in-law
12 What did Sir Alex Ferguson, manager of Manchester United, say about his prodigy being involved in yet another public fracas?
a)"It was a young lovers' tiff. They are both very strong characters. Neither of them are shy when it comes to having their say"
b) "I am absolutely livid. He is flying off the handle too often"
c) "Coleen will hang on to Wayne for grim death. Right now he is her ticket to public awareness, and she wants that desperately"
1 a) Although he had invited her on several dates (including to Paris and the chippie) before she really noticed him.
2 All three. He was devastated when she died.
3 b) Wayne doesn't know why.
4 b) "We had to stop for Coleen to get some money out to pay for the meal."
5 c) "It was really special," says Wayne. "When we got there, her mum had put candles on the table."
6 a) Officially.
7 c) His words.
8 All three. "It was not a pretty sight," said a waitress.
9 a) So she asked her to be on the magazine's cover.
10 a) Although the others might have been more interesting.
11 c) He says he knows Wayne as well as anyone.
12 b) The first was the couple's spokesman, former tabloid journalist Ian Monk. The third was attributed to those highly communicative "friends".
If you got more than half right, welcome to Wayne's World. It might be time to panic, read a book- or ring a tabloid and give a quote as a "friend". Everybody else does.
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