Friday night, Saturday morning: A rude journey into the heart of an uncivil nation

He's going to hit me. The bearded, beery bloke in the suit lurches forward, chest thrust out and fists clenched, slurring: "Wassyer problem?" Nothing mate. Sorry, I say, but he keeps on coming, eyes gleaming and fists flailing, so I step backwards, sensing the air changing behind me. The train is arriving at the platform, thank God.

Five minutes into this experiment - an attempt to be as civil as possible - and I'm already dodging blows. The "revolution in responsibility" that David Cameron has called for to fight anti-social behaviour could get bloody. The civility classes to be taught in all schools, as we reveal today, could save lives.

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The man in the suit hated me bending down to pick up his plastic pint glass and saying, "Excuse me, I think you've dropped something." Of course he did: he had dropped the glass deliberately, after draining the last drop of his Friday afternoon post-work beer. He wasn't drunk, just hot and thoughtless, letting it fall with a clatter on to the platform at South Quay station in London. When challenged, politely, he exploded.

"I have strategies for managing my anger," is one of the mantras adopted by tense children in the new lessons, trialled in primary schools. They have seen truancy and bullying reduce, and calm spread through the corridors. Maybe if the man in the suit had been to one of those he would have said, "Yes, I see the error of my ways. I will hasten to a bin. Thank you for helping me to be a better citizen."

Or maybe not. Modern Britons are rude and getting ruder. They are out for themselves, dismissive of authority and see other people as a threat. Both the main political parties agree on that, but differ on how to change it. Last week David Cameron called for parents to accept that it is their responsibility - and not that of the teachers - "to bring their kids up with the right values". But Tony Blair believes schools can help put back in place morals that were once commonly held in Britain - chief among them being respect for others.

The new Social and Emotional Aspects of Learning (Seal) scheme is an attempt to do that. Life skills are taught, feelings such as anger, envy and loss discussed by pupils in an inclusive circle (those with serious problems get one-to-one coaching) and "golden rules" pinned up on the walls. "We are gentle, we are kind, we work hard," they say. "We do not waste or damage things ..."

Unlike the boy of 16 or so picking at the trim of a seat on the Central Line train with a small blade. Excuse me, I say again, perhaps foolishly, but his earphones are rattling and he doesn't hear. His woolly hat is pulled down over his eyes, so I don't know if he sees. I do know that he is slowly letting spit fall from his lips to form a pool on the floor. Wanting to move away, I offer my seat to a perspiring woman with shopping bags hooked into the crooks of her elbows.

"Nah," she says. Is she sure? "Look, what d'you want?" She glares at me as if I'm a pervert and turns so her backside is right in my face. This is not going well. Being civil is just provoking violence and fear. Outside the George pub on the corner of Liverpool Street, where English manners mean braying about your pay, I move aside to let a woman with a tray of cider bottles pass. She steams through, as if deference is my duty. Nobody says thank you any more, do they?

Suddenly I am seized with the desire to hear someone do just that - not nod, or grunt, but hold my gaze and say "thank you", like people used to. The most obvious candidate is an elderly gent in beret and blazer, rattling a bucket and collecting for disabled servicemen. People are being "very nice" he says. "Very polite." Judging from the heavy row of medals on his chest, he has earned it.

The old soldier is by a statue in Hope Square put up "in gratitude to the people of Britain" for saving the lives of Jewish children who fled Nazi persecution. That's a thank you. Bronze boys and girls stand in a huddle, with string-tied suitcases and a teddy bear. The real ones would be elderly now, maybe mystified by all these young people shouting into phones, pawing at each other, eating (and trailing debris from) Big Macs as they walk, bouncing off strangers without a word.

And by the children. A teacher is attacked every day in Britain. One teenage boy in 10 has been suspended for bad behaviour. A third of girls have been in a fight in the past year. Nearly a quarter of young people have been guilty of anti-social behaviour - defined by the Home Office as "graffiti, rudeness motivated by race or religion, being noisy or rude in public, causing people to complain or others to get in trouble with the police".

That's the kind of childhood shown in the new Shane Meadows film, This is England. It is being discussed outside a fashionable bar near Spitalfields when conversation stops as a cyclist screams abuse at a car. In my part of east London you don't do that. There are too many shootings. When road rage can lead to murder, fear bites your tongue.

Frock rage is another matter. At Primark in Hackney a friend saw the summer's most sought-after floral print dress and charged for it. Straight through a gaggle of teenagers. "Oi!" one shouted. "You could say fucking excuse me you know, you rude bitch!" It was a fair cop. Shopping gets you like that. So do buses. Waiting for the last out of Finsbury Park station at one in the morning, my mate Dan tells me how his nose got broken. "This guy was standing by the driver, so nobody else could get on. I asked him to step back a bit." After the headbutt there was blood everywhere.

My mobile rings. "I've seen a miracle," says a friend in Edinburgh. "A young family with loads of luggage got off the bus and started walking in the wrong direction, away from their hotel. Guess what the driver did? Got out to show them the way!"

I cherish this story on the way to Buckingham Palace next morning, to see what strangers think of us. Harvard Holley, from Washington, USA, says: "This is one of the most polite places we have ever visited. In China there are gangs of kids who just plough through you." I'm too polite to mention our robber gangs who steam railway carriages. "Your street manners are so good," insists Barbara Holley. "People stand in line so graciously." Not this morning. A teenager walked straight past the bus line and got on. Nobody challenged her.

Surprisingly, Noriko Nakagawa from Osaka says Japanese people are much ruder. "They push you out of the way in the street. They never say sorry. You do."

That's true. I have heard it many times on this journey, as people jostled for space in the city. But after almost 24 hours of trying to be civil it still takes two Japanese tourists, nodding in gratitude for a simple conversation, to say the words this Britain has forgotten: "Thank you."

...and what the schools actually do

THE PRIVATE SECTOR

Once a fortnight, pupils at Wellington College have a 40-minute well-being class. The focus is on "doing good" rather than feeling good, says Dr Anthony Seldon, Master of the College.

At the sessions' core are pupils' relationships. Children, helped by specially trained staff, learn to control elements of their lives ranging from drug use and fitness, to using the internet and overcoming fears. The two-year programme, introduced 12 months ago, was designed for Wellington by Dr Nick Baylis of Cambridge University.

PRIMARY SCHOOLS

In primary schools that run the Social and Emotional Aspects of Learning (Seal) programme, the curriculum is designed so that "good behaviour becomes the norm". Children are taught techniques to calm down, solve problems and manage conflicts. A "whole school ethos" teaches children to become responsible for their behaviour and to think about its consequences. Golden rules, including, "We listen to people", and "We do not cover up the truth", are imbued in children in assembly and "circles".

SECONDARY SCHOOLS

The secondary programme will develop pupils' social and emotional skills in the following areas: self-awareness, managing feelings, empathy, motivations and social skills. Guidance will be given to schools on developing a school ethos, while lessons will have "a dual purpose": to teach an academic curriculum as well as social and emotional skills. From Year 7, children will focus on how to be resilient and cope with disappointment. Working in groups, they will work on how to "read" others' emotions.

Sadie Gray

How good manners turned a rude, aggressive boy into a film star

"Before the film I wanted to be naughty. But the people I worked with taught me how to behave around other people. Manners are the main thing you need in life. If you don't say please and thank you, you won't get much, will you?"

So Thomas Turgoose told 'The Independent on Sunday'. Two years ago, he was a bored and wayward teenager who rarely went to school and spent most days roaming the streets of Grimsby looking for trouble.

But his life was transformed when he won a starring role in the latest film from director Shane Meadows. Now 15, Thomas has been acclaimed as one of the most promising actors of his generation for his performance in 'This Is England'. The award-winning film, which opens next week, tells the story of a boy adopted by a skinhead gang after losing his father in the Falklands War.

Excluded from school for swearing at teachers and smashing up a classroom, Thomas was a self-proclaimed "naughty lad". He was spotted by casting agents at a club for disadvantaged youths and only agreed to audition on the condition they paid him £5.

He credits the strict routine of the six-week film shoot with helping him. "It was really hard work, but I wanted to prove myself," he said.

His efforts clearly paid off: Thomas was named the most promising newcomer at the British Independent Film Awards last year, and he won a 10-minute ovation at the Rome Film Festival.

Now Thomas is studying for his GCSEs and hopes to continue his career in acting. "I was messing up my life, but being in the film has completely changed everything."

Martin Hodgson