Rap on the knuckles for band that said Posh was 'a nutter'

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The Independent Online

For tens of thousands of fans who sat through England's uninspiring 1-0 victory over Wales at the Millennium Stadium on Saturday, the pre-match entertainment provided one of the few moments of light relief.

Newport's finest chav rappers Goldie Lookin' Chain (GLC) delighted in dedicating their new single, "Your Missus Is a Nutter", to no less a beacon of rectitude than Victoria Beckham, the wife of the England football captain.

The former Spice Girl, who was watching the match, may have grown used over the years to the outrageous chants from opposing fans which have questioned everything from her singing ability to her sexual preferences, but for the Football Association of Wales (FAW), suggesting that La Beckham was unhinged was going too far.

Yesterday the FAW general secretary David Collins issued a cringing apology. "People may say it was meant as a joke and maybe we're being fuddy-duddies. But we don't see it like that. There was a basic lack of respect involved here," Mr Collins fumed.

"I would like to go on record as issuing a public apology to David Beckham and the English FA and say this is a matter the Welsh FA are treating with great importance," he added. What so riled the Welsh blazerati was GLC's eardrum-splitting performance of a track which catalogues the drunken, violent antics of every bloke's worst nightmare. It was dedicated to Mrs Beckham with the words "we've heard she likes a drink".

The song describes a "gammy-eyed" woman "mad like cat's piss" who is besieging a poor unsuspecting rapper with 40 phone calls a day. She is a "pussy whipper" who "looks like Caprice" but is fond of "wrestling two police".

Able to "kill a man with her thighs" she is renowned for "flashing her bits" at nightclub bouncers. That is when she is not lobbing ashtrays at members of the bar staff.

The Welsh rap collective may have been inspired by photographs of the mother of three on holiday minus her husband that appeared in newspapers in recent weeks showing her looking somewhat below par. Puffing on a cigar in some and even sporting a smile in others, the photos spawned articles celebrating her rebirth as a party girl.

Mrs Beckham and her husband sportingly declined to complain - the England captain was warming up on the pitch when the song was performed. GLC's lyrics typically extol the virtues of dope smoking, eating chips, expensive training shoes and of course, cheap imitation jewellery. Their first hit "Guns Don't Kill People, Rappers Do", cleverly lampooned the media image of rap music. That is not to say that when Two Hats, Mike Balls, Mr Loveggs and the rest of the crew take to the stage, the level of discourse has not been known to plunge somewhat.

In some ways Mrs Beckham got off lightly. Their last single, "Your Mother's Got a Penis" was regularly played on the radio, although with the offending word in the chorus bleeped out. Nonetheless, priceless lines like "ball bag jiggin' to the beat of her feet" still hit the national airwaves.

There is nothing new about the debauched England-Wales rivalry - witness the number of England fans brandishing inflatable sheep at Saturday's match, or the Welsh fans singing songs about Wayne Rooney and grandmothers.

It was a fact readily acknowledged by Mr Collins. "We couldn't do too much about the booing of the English national anthem, other than to implore Welsh supporters to respect it. But we can most certainly stop the sort of nonsense that David Beckham had to put up with before the game," he said.

As GLC might say - it's enough to "make a skinhead cry".

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