Relationships: Best and Lohan: his'n'hers rehab

To paraphrase Lord Tennyson on the marriage of Thomas and Jane Carlyle, it is fortunate that Calum Best and Lindsay Lohan are together, since by any other arrangement four people would be screaming at each other in LA hotel rooms instead of two.

Best, 26-year-old son of George, became the missing link in the Transatlantic shag map when he first bedded Lohan six months ago, but the past week has been a(nother) troubled one for the star-crossed lovers. First the star of Mean Girls got drunk, crashed her Merc and checked into rehab (for the second time). Then her model boyfriend admitted a sex addiction and said he'd get rehabilitated too.

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Oh, and there was the small issue of a paternity suit. "I don't want people to say I wasted any talent I have," he blubbed. Don't be silly, Calum: nobody would say you had talent.

Further reading: For Calum and his mother's take on his father, read 'George, by the Bests', by Calum Best and Angie Best (Virgin Books)