Nothing much happens in Wokingham. There's a below-average food festival every summer and occasionally travellers pitch camp on the town's green spaces resulting in hand ringing and furious letter by local residents, but excitement is rare, action rarer and little has changed there since I grew up nearby 10 years ago.
But "Dull" is obviously in demand. The Berkshire market town has just been named the "best place to raise a family", this hot on the heels of reports in 2007 and 2011 which rated its "quality of life" as the best in the country.
What exactly is it that's so great about this particular slice of pricey commuter belt, though? The most-recent report points to good exam results, high-quality childcare and low crime. A word of warning from a near native – yes, your children will be safe and well-educated, but you'll be achingly bored. And, if your kids are anything like I was, they'll be soon hanging around the station, drinking Hooch and desperately waiting for the next train to the dazzlingly, but equally disappointing, bright lights of Reading.