Weather Wise

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MORE THAN half the lyrics to be heard in the Eurovision Song Contest on Saturday mention aspects of the weather. After eliminating repetitions, we find two references to `weather', one to `clouds', and one to `summer'. `Sky' (or `skies'), `sun' and `storm' appear four times, but first place is shared by `wind' and `rain' each occurring five times.

I fear we must again award nul points to Norway for "Summer for Ever" and its "oh, oh, oh, oh, Summer for ever you said" chorus. That's just not how the seasons work.

Croatia's "May the sun never rise" and the Macedonian entry "Somebody stop the dawn" similarly appear to cherish unrealistic dreams. The Swedish song is also confusing, when it says: "The heavy clouds drifted away into the winds". Surely, even in Sweden, clouds cannot drift against the wind.

The UK entry is the most autumnal: "Leaves are falling ... I would drive through the rain ... through the storm I call your name" though calling while driving through a storm seems rather fruitless.

The Netherlands begins: "Holland was just cool and cold/And especially the weather/The wind was never still" - a good description of the possibly windy conditions over flat terrain.

The Estonians promise to "challenge every storm that comes along", a more upbeat message than the Poles' "Your words bring out a melody, but all I hear is rain". The Portuguese are "wandering under a clear blue sky". In Hungary, however, "the sun is going down and it's about to rain".