Wizard claims winning streak against footballers

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DORCHESTER Football Club have called in a local parson to lift a curse laid on their pounds 1.5m stadium by a Dorset wizard, David Green, who has it in for the Prince of Wales and the Duchy of Cornwall.

After a Bible-waving ceremony by the Rev David Fayle the Magpies are hoping a disastrous series of home games (eight losses, four draws and only two wins) will be ended when they meet Nuneaton there today.

The stadium was built three years ago on Duchy land, and is one of several royal projects, including the 2,000-home Poundbury suburb at Dorchester. The Duchy was targeted by Mr Green in an eight-hour ritual during the 1992 summer solstice.

There is no love lost between Mr Green, who runs a computer business in Dorchester, and the Duchy. 'It's all Duchy land round here,' he said yesterday. 'This is Dorset. You bloody touch your cap when you come down here. What other multi- million-pound business doesn't have to publish accounts? I'm as much in awe of the Duchy as I am of the stupidity of the British people letting them get away with it.'

Mr Green says he warmed up for his Duchy curse by practising on Weymouth's new traffic system ('I completely screwed it up.') and thence on to bigger things - the island of Portland: 'Dockyard's gone down. Helicopter base threatened. And I claim responsibility.

'When I was doing the stadium I thought I'd take the karma to all Duchy activities in the area. Poundbury's going to be a disaster. Prince Charles will be ridiculed and the centre of Dorchester will decay.'

Mr Green is scornful about Mr Fayle's attempt to save the Magpies. 'He's totally out of his league,' he said. 'The club's right on a ley line. Are you kidding? He won't fetch the curse out mumbling a few prayers.'