The sins of Obama: Ten reasons to remind us he is a mere mortal, after all

1. He smokes It's regarded by some as a sin only marginally less appalling than serial homicide, but this President still cadges the odd fag from aides.

2. He can't do without his BlackBerry To the consternation of his security folk, he won't give up the little electronic security blanket that allows him to email on the run.

3. You wouldn't want to get stuck in a lift with him He sounds, when he talks, like an exceptionally well-read Hallmark greeting card – happy-clappy platitudes dressed up in the cadences of the King James Bible. All very beguiling on the stump, but a bit of a bore in private, one suspects.

4. He can dance This ability, so much in evidence at the 10 inauguration balls he attended, sends alarm signals to the average Joe. Not without reason, regular guys have always found something decidedly iffy about men who dance well.

5. He keeps unsettling religious company Apart from the Rev Jeremiah Wright, whose rantings featured in the election campaign, there's the presence on the inauguration podium of Rick Warren. This Californian preacher man, who opposes abortion rights and gay marriage, is now a sort of presidential padre.

6. He seems too perfect He exudes earnest virtue the way most of us emanate sweat. All very laudable, but will he, when the popularity chips are down, be able to play goodfella like Reagan and the early George W? Probably not.

7. He's a gift to conspiracy theorists First there's that middle name: "Hussein". Then there's the swearing-in errors – getting the words wrong at the ceremony, and not using a Bible at the second, private, attempt. Already the "is he bound by the oath?" blogging has started.

8. He has sticky-out ears The other major public figure with this Dumbo-like feature is Prince Charles – another earnest bore.

9. His golf handicap is 16 Yeah, right.

10. He has only nine faults This, in itself, constitutes a flaw sufficiently serious to be the 10th.

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