Indonesia and the polygamy stir-fry: why men need more than one wife
Thursday 08 July 2004
Latest in Asia
On Facebook
From the blogs
Disclosure: We’d never even been to a club when we made our first single
For most of us, reaching eighteen years of age opens up a new world for exploration, spontaneity and...
Top of the posts: Drunken rants, the Western Fail and misogyny pushers
The most read blogs this week, as determined by stats.
Sepp Blatter: Penalty shoot-outs must remain, they’re football’s great leveller
As England supporters, we should scorn at any such deciding factor within football. On so many occas...
Why do some men consider the street as a female meat market?
Pronouncements on sexual inequality in the UK are normally met with an eye roll by my generation. As...
Puspo Wardoyo is a contented man. He has four wives, 10 children and 34 grilled chicken restaurants. Indonesians, he believes, should embrace his example.
Puspo Wardoyo is a contented man. He has four wives, 10 children and 34 grilled chicken restaurants. Indonesians, he believes, should embrace his example.
Mr Puspo is campaigning to make polygamy respectable in Indonesia, where it was suppressed for decades under the former dictator, Suharto. Now it is enjoying a renaissance, thanks in part to Mr Puspo's energetic efforts to promote it as a desirable way of life.
The portly 48-year-old extols the virtues of taking a second wife, preferably four. In his Ayam Bakar Wong Solo restaurants, he preaches the message through his menu, which offers polygamy stir-fry (broccoli, mushrooms, squid and shrimp) and polygamy juice, a medley of four crushed fruits.
Mr Puspo has founded a National Polygamy Society, which compiles lists of women willing to share a husband. He offers tips to polygamists, counselling them to eat plenty of fresh fruit to maintain stamina and to refrain from complimenting one wife in front of another.
Last year he held a Polygamy award ceremony at a five-star Jakarta hotel, which was picketed by women's groups. "I want to change the image of polygamy," he said. "Before I started my campaign, it was a taboo subject. Now everyone is talking about it, and it's out in the open."
His own decision to adopt the ancient Islamic custom was taken jointly with his first wife, Rini Purwanti, whom he married in 1979. As his restaurant chain spreadacross the archipelago, he found himself often away on business. He needed to satisfy his physical urges at least once a week, but rather than visit a prostitute, the couple agreed that he should take a second wife.
His prime motivation, Mr Puspo added, was to follow the teachings of the Koran. Thus did he marry 22-year-old Supianti in 1996, followed by Anisa, 22, two years later and Intan, 24, in 2000. The trio all worked in his chicken outlets and were selected via a competition for outstanding staff.
Pictures of his four wives adorn the walls of his restaurants, which he built into a nationwide chain from a warung (food stall) in his native city of Medan, on Sumatra island.
Mr Puspo drives a red sports car with the number plate 4BINI, which means "four wives" in Javanese dialect. How can it possibly accommodate five adults, not to mention 10 children - Anis, 23, Ringin, 22, Rimbi, 21, Gena, 16, Bakar, 10, Abu, eight, Sidik, four, Rahil, three, Zaharol, two, and baby Sabik? "When we're together, I drive a bus," he said.
Two of his wives live in Sumatra, one in Jakarta and one in Java. When he travels, they take turns to accompany him.
Mr Puspo laments that polgyamy gets a bad press. "People think the wives are victims," he said. "But look at my wives, they're all happy. They have a beautiful houses, good cars. They know I love them all equally. Women's groups protest about me, but we have the same mission: to improve the dignity of women." His secretary, Kuringin Purbo Wardani, describes all four of his wives as "quiet".
Mr Puspo says satisfying their physical demands is not a problem. "There's variety and time intervals. It makes me more motivated as a man. Only one wife makes me bored. All men are like that."
Dining in the East Jakarta branch of Wong Solo, which has Javanese furniture and lime-green walls, Sofie Yulianti, 44, said that she agreed with polygamy. How would she feel if her husband of 20 years, Yusmar Mansur, took a second wife? She chortled. "As long as he's happy."
There are no reliable estimates of the number of polygamous men in mainly Muslim Indonesia. Mr Puspo says he has made many converts. His campaign has been boosted by high-profile polygamists, including the Vice-President, Hamzah Haz, who took a third wife last year.
Sadly, Mr Puspo's claim to be a model husband collapsed when he failed to recall the dates of his four weddings. It seems Rini Purwanti, Supianti, Anisa and Intan do not receive roses on their anniversaries.
- 1 Mark Zuckerberg saved $111m by selling Facebook shares before stock slumped
- 2 Brazil rocked by abortion for 9-year-old rape victim
- 3 News in pictures
- 4 Tory chief Warsi failed to declare rent income from flat
- 5 In pictures: The bewildering face of China
- 6 Osborne to face questions over links to Murdoch
- 7 Facebook: The shares shenanigans
- 8 Is Ridley Scott the most macho man in movies?
- 9 Günter Grass attacks Merkel for Athens policy
- 10 Exclusive dispatch: Assad blamed for massacre of the innocents
- 1 Mark Zuckerberg saved $111m by selling Facebook shares before stock slumped
- 2 Brazil rocked by abortion for 9-year-old rape victim
- 3 Fat? Really? Olympic hope laughs off official’s jibe – but others aren’t amused
- 4 Is Ridley Scott the most macho man in movies?
- 5 Postgraduate students are being used as 'slave labour'
- 6 'Hello mum, this is going to be hard for you to read ...'
- 7 African monkey meat that could be behind the next HIV
- 8 Exclusive dispatch: Assad blamed for massacre of the innocents
- 9 Coke reveals its secret: It may need to carry a cancer warning
- 10 French in uproar over oral sex anti-smoking posters
Experience the Heineken Hub
Get free wi-fi and exclusive i content while you enjoy a tasty pint of Heineken at participating pubs.
Can you imagine a career in teaching?
Be inspired to teach - let real teachers show you how rewarding the job can be.
Playing a game-changing role during the Games
Cisco is providing the solutions for London 2012's complex IT needs.
Enter the latest Independent competitions
Win anything from gadgets to five-star holidays on our competitions and offers page.
Business videos from commercial thought leaders
Watch the best in the business world give their insights into the world of business.
Career Services
Day In a Page
The secret life of the red carpet
Up and away – how '7 Up' went global



Comments