Bald Party needs a crown prince
Thursday 11 August 1994
But when delegates assembled last Friday at the Elektron Hotel in Krakow, they engaged in so much hair-splitting over party strategy that the meeting broke up without deciding on a nomination. Those who were in the thick of things say the trouble started when the party's main faction proposed the party leader, Karel Pleszaty, as the best man to give President Lech Walesa a close electoral shave.
This faction advocated using the slogan: 'Receding, we advance.' But a renegade group objected and proposed instead to back the Speaker of Poland's parliament, Jozef Oleksy, known in some salons as 'the bald-headed Robespierre'. In addition, the dissidents wanted a more rugged party slogan - 'You can't refuse a bald man anything.'
A third faction, representing an outgrowth of the party's youth organisation, Young Semicircle, then raised its head. It suggested that the man to pin the party's presidential hopes on was Jozef Lassota, the mayor of Krakow. 'They can't grind you down if you've got a shiny crown,' was this faction's preferred slogan.
Rapidly, the conference descended into disarray, and a parting of the ways now seems inevitable for the three factions of the Party of the Bald. In this respect, the party's fortunes may turn out to resemble those of the ill-starred Polish Beer Lovers' Party.
Having won 16 parliamentary seats in the 1991 elections, the party split into two movements, Big Beer and Little Beer, but both were swept out of the legislature in elections last September.
- 1 Kim Jong-un shows off airport designed by architect he likely had executed
- 2 Tunisia hotel attack: Locals form 'human shield' to protect hotel from gunman Seifeddine Rezgui
- 3 Why it matters 26 million people have changed their Facebook profile picture to a rainbow flag
- 4 German ethics council calls for incest between siblings to be legalised by Government
- 5 Fifty Shades of Grey author E.L James's Twitter Q&A didn't go exactly as planned
Michael Douglas regrets 'embarrassing' Catherine Zeta-Jones with oral sex comments
Kim Jong-un shows off airport designed by architect he likely had executed
Tunisia hotel attack: Locals form 'human shield' to protect hotel from gunman Seifeddine Rezgui
Ex-Scientologist Carmen Llwyelyn blasts 'cult' and her treatment after divorce with Jason Lee
Tunisian builder has been hailed a hero after knocking gunman to the ground with roof tiles
The moment a Queen's Guard soldier lost it and drew his gun at annoying tourist
Greece crisis: The wider lesson is that it’s time to abandon this failed experiment in currencies
'I wish the BBC would stop calling it Islamic State' – David Cameron unleashes frustration at broadcaster
David Cameron struck double blow in his hopes to win Britain a new EU deal
Extend Right To Buy to tenants of private landlords, Labour's Jeremy Corbyn says
Pentagon accuses Russia of 'playing with fire' over nuclear threats towards Nato
£15000 - £18000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: An On-line Sales & Customer Ser...
£15000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: One of the largest hospitality companies...
£28000 - £32000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: As a result of significant cont...
£16575 - £19000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: An excellent opportunity is ava...